Mellyana's Hablay Corner

A Whitney Houston Moment

2009-09-25T09:57:00.003+07:00

I grew up with Whitney Houston. Well, that is because back in the 80’s I didn’t have much choice on music selection. At least that’s what I felt. I pretty much rely on what’s hot at current radio station. There’s only one television channel, TVRI and it’s pretty much crap especially if I listen to its Aneka Ria Safari.

Staying at home – thanks to this seems-to-be-too-regular flu – I went to my CD collections and decided to play with the time machine. I choose some old CDs. Whitney was among them.

The collection consists of various selections of Whitney Houston songs. She has fabulous track from up beat songs to the slow machine songs. I opted for some cool down, since it was lazy evening and suited my not-too-well condition.

Oh boy! How I still remember them all!!!

My track started with Saving All My Love for You. This song reminded me of Ratna, one of my best friends; just because at one time we had discussion about this particular song, on what exactly this song was about. Last night I sing along with the song just all right. If I was singing in a karaoke, I probably got at least 90 score.

I really can remember. My brain does have memory.

***
These couple of months, I used to visit some karaoke places. Most of the time, it was family get-together. We picked various songs; oldies songs up to the most recent one. I am one of the lousy ones. Really. I can keep lyrics in this very small brain of mine. It is forgivable to forget lyrics from the good old days, but I also can’t keep up with the latest songs, even if those songs consist of one sentence. Just like the song of one group called kuburan: lupa or another song by Melly that only has one sentence “I love you”. How can someone forget those kinds of lyrics?

But I do forget them

Last July, we had this surprise dinner party for our father. The siblings and me decided to sing one gospel song. This is a kind of song that you actually sing in the church on almost weekly basis. There were times when I have this song on i-pod play-list and play it on repeat mode like forever. And, still, I can’t remember the text. So, all of us need a little help from our modern life. Thanks to gadget and internet, we can have our blackberry googled up the text and yes, we sang the song with lyrics on our BB’s LCD.

***
Well, maybe that’s the thing. We got many helps these days. Lyric is a piece of cake when you have internet and google around. It takes just a couple of seconds to get the lyrics.

Fifteen to twenty years ago, it took hours to get the lyrics!

I remember sitting beside my tape recorder, try to catch words of a song. Write down the lyrics. Mind you, English is my third or even fourth language (after some traditional languages, off course). Sometimes the sentences turned out funny because I heard it wrong. Other alternative was to tune in to a radio station that broadcast song lyrics. I stay awake just to be able to write down line by line. During high school, I used to exchange lyrics with friends. Thus, I had quite a collection of lyrics. All nicely written complete with all the glitters and colorful colors.

Oh my. I can see all the books. I don’t’ know where those books are gone!

Maybe because the effort and also –perhaps- the fact that my brain is still young and fresh, I can keep the lyrics of those songs until today. The ability that surprise me. I still amaze how I can sing a long to these songs; greatest love of all, one moment in time, I have nothing, didn’t we almost have it all.

Waw. It’s good to have some memories stay.

By the way, where is Whitney Houston? Now that I am singing some of her hits, I kinda miss her. We all can sing her songs, but no one can do that as Whitney. Big song suit her big vocal. Me? I am satisfied to have my stage in my tiny apartement with no one but me to amuse.

Over The Hill is Home

2009-01-09T12:28:00.001+07:00

Thank you Lord.
Your love is forever.

Thank you Lord.
For always trusting me.

Thank you Lord.
For abundant love you give, no matter what.

Thank you Lord.
For always be there for me.

No word able to express my gratitude. I am overwhelmed. And for this, I thank You, Lord.

Poor, Stupid and Lazy.

2008-05-26T14:59:00.003+07:00

It was a hot day and the venue packed with people from various ages, eager to know more on how to become a potential leader. It was a free event as long as you had registered. We were asked to be enthusiast because we were a potential leader who never quit, move on, brighter future, its mine. The slogan that kept repeated throughout the day.

I would love to say that outloud just like the rest of participants, but I just couldn’t help myself to say it even with minimum voice. I did manage to replicate the hands-movement, though.

We were told about four important things a leader should have. Brain, creativity, intuition and communication ability.

See something new?
No?
Well, you’re not alone.

These four things are important. Okay, I said. But, if these four things were claimed as an answer for the price-increased of the fuel (BBM), I will say hold on.

Weeks before the new price of fuel took place, debate and demonstration were carried out. It’s the headlines for most media. Increased fuel price means more money needed to buy things, to take public transportation and downgraded the quality of life of most people. I heard that some decided to stop hiring the lovely baby sitter, some started to have home-made a.k.a bring-your-own-lunch-from-home and some replaced the old car with new-but-more-thrifty.

Those are individual decision, taken as a reaction of the fuel-increaded-price. Those individuals are able to change their lifestyle a bit, although God know that time will soon arive when they will return to the old habbit and get used with the new price tag. We have very good adaptation ability, no?

But, how about some unfortunate people who have not the luxury to change the car and already have home-made lunch when money allow? Landless labor, honorary teacher, textile worker and many more. They can not make any adjustment, and that’s not because they don’t have brain, nor creativity, nor intuition, nor communication skill but because they just can’t. The system doesn’t allow them to. It needs more than just those four things for most of them. Way more.

It showed me how strong it is, the view that people became poor because they are no-brainer, lazy and all that. No wonder, one can made up a “poor-people-way-to-spend-money” theory that is spend today what you got today. Well, Mr.Rich-with-too-much-extra-income, the poor had to spend money on the same day when they got the money because there’s no other way. Investment is alien word. They need money to eat, to survive. Sometimes, it comes daily, but most of the time, they can’t really tell when the money will come.

I have nothing againts the idea that the middle-class-society need to be more smart, creative, intuitive and communicative to be able to create new source of income, and God willing, new employment opportunity. That’s a good idea. More money for you, and more job for others.

But, please bear in mind, it need more than just that.

I remember a taxi driver comment on the project in front of ITC Ambassador (you know, that the small green area is now getting smaller as a provide wider road?). He said,”Mba, it wont solve the traffic jam in this road”. Gee! Indeed. There’s a system problem in it. A good mass-transportation system and land-use regulation are just few of some alternative answers.

It’s an old and long debate on how to alleviate poverty. Middle income society surely can do a lot of creative things. Those are welcome. Still, it is important to realize that there’s a system problem. Being individually smart, creative, intuitive and communicate are just not enough.

A longer and slightly different version can be found here or there, too lazy to do full translation.

Homesick

2008-04-28T23:12:00.006+07:00

I saw serries of pictures of a distant friend. The scenes were all located abroad. Lost the shy and quiet person I knew. I can even give a new title as “party animal” by looking at those pictures. I saw smile, like thousands of them. Totally confident and you know what, a confident person always looks sexy for me.

I don’t know what happened, but I assumed being abroad contributes a lot. And I remember mine.

One thing I get most during my life in Rotterdam was self-confident. And, I used to consider my self as confident person. It was there that I have some attitude I never knew exist within me. I feel respected, matter and beautiful. My dark skin is lovely. My thoughts always matter. The man adores me *too much confident, i know, don't get mad at me*.

I believe that trust and respect build the confident. Not judgement from around. I feel so free. No one to tell me what to do, and no one to blame me on what I do. I just have to be responsible on my own.

Damn, it feels good.

I enjoy all the new responsibilities. A lot. I cherish every moment I spent. I used to walk very slowly to make sure all are saved in my limited-storage-capacity-brain.

I think, it's not too much when I say that I will never be the person I am now without the time I spent there.

I Try

2008-03-19T16:08:00.001+07:00

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
-Macy Gray-

I am missing you
A friend’s question brought me to the memories of you
Places we visited
Meals we prepared
Shows we watched
Too many things we did together

Until now, we are unable to fix a date and place to meet
Work and other responsibilities are our excuses
But still, the friendship stays

Yes, fate has brought you into my life
And yet, fate has decided to keep us apart

Until the moment come, eventually.

why didn’t you call me do something
caligula i try sex-o-matic venus freak
i can’t wait to meetchu still i’ve committed murder
a moment to myself the letter

After Party

2008-02-15T14:22:00.000+07:00

Albeit haven't been practicing any these days, I love party. It was during my graduate study that weekend menu consisted with party(ies). It wasn’t a party with fancy costume, disk jockey and blink-blink, but rather mediocre party with music, friends, and surely some liquor to heat the temperature. Abandon basement was chosen as regular venue. That is it.

However, it was the after party that I missed most.

Mostly a bit drunk and too much adrenalin, some small number of us decided to stay awhile to talk about nonsense with coffee and tea. It was hard to remember what was talked during that time. But it was nice, cozy and warm. That’s how I remember the after party.

Yesterday, one party was over. Friends and family were gather to enjoy the evening. Celebrate the day where I’ve been blessed with another year to live with. But the after party was way too differ with ones I used to know.

It was a big empty space. A hollow sphere.

This time, I refused an after party. Lets the party goes as long as possible, it keeps one mind busy and forget the pain within.

Rejoice! It's the Worst Day of The Year

2008-01-24T17:26:00.000+07:00

Yes, based on some theories, today is the worst day of the year.

There's a person created a formula for Jan 24. It is based on mix status of weather, debt, monthly salary, time since Christmas, time since failed quit attempt, low motivational levels and the need to take action. It's official. Today is the most depressing day.

Is it?

How is it with you?

Is there even such a day? So we can blame the day for our extremely swinging-mood not to mention the urge to get so pissed with a lot of things and tears that seem too eager to fall? If so, great. It is good to have other things as reason for our misbehave, no?

But, no. I wont take it. This is the day for rejoice.

At least, I can find one decent reason for happiness today. This is the day when a man was born. A man with whom I spent so many joy and sad moments. A man with whom I share laughter and sorrow. A man with whom I say the words love in whispering and sometimes, out loud mode.

Happy birthday, my dear. You are the reason to rejoice this day and therefore I worship HIM.

yes, even at our worst moments, we can always take time to rejoice...

I love You Lord
and I lift my voice
To worship You
O my soul, rejoice!

Take joy, my King
in what you hear
May it be a sweet, sweet sound
in Your ear.

I feel at home in Manado

2007-11-08T15:46:00.000+07:00

Visiting Manado, is like being in Rotterdam, and I’m home once again. It was in Rotterdam that I saw churches more than mosque. Just like Manado. Cross all over the city, a signature of its majority religion, that this is Christian area. With church and all that. The cross that differentiate Manado with most Indonesian cities.

I was flabbergasted, to hear a pray as I pray, to start a meeting with a pray that I understand very well. I can have my eyes closed, hands folded, and start to pray before meal just like that. Everybody did the same. No worry. Awkwardness aside.

In Manado, I was for once becoming majority. In term of religion. Or perhaps more than that. People think that I am a local. I hear this a lot. No news. My light skin, eyes, and easy-attitude made the assumption that I come from Manado. If only they know that I am coming several islands more to the west. Downside is, I can’t really talk the local dialect. From taxi driver to restaurant waitress, they were talking in local with me and I was dumbfounded.

Actually, I could catch some of the words. It is because, they are Dutch words! If only they were talking a bit slower. They used a lot of maar, niet, and many more. All I need is to adapt with this eastern Indonesian accent, recollect some Dutch words, and voila, I think I know that they were talking about me. Gotcha!

See, how it feels like home?

Thing that doesn’t resemble Rotterdam is the landscape and food!

It has beach although poor and reclamated in the city but it does have sandy beach to north and mangrove beach nearby Santika Resort. Don’t forget about the under sea world. Manado is very famous for its Bunaken. This is another reason why WOC will be held in Manado. About this, I can’t say much, have to go down myself. Last time I visited Manado, I was just 10 minutes away from Santika resort.

I love the downtown. It’s pretty old building. Mostly toko (shops). Colorful image. I just wish it had less traffic.

The last, food is heaven. I love seafood, and this city know how to serve seafood. Ikan Roa is one of my favorite. It went perfect with dabu-dabu, fresh tasty chili sauce. Calorie counting was not allowed.

I wish I will have another journey to this hommy place, without work-to-do-list and mission report await!

Lesson Learned... of becoming a blogger

2007-08-22T14:56:00.000+07:00

I can turn on "whatever" mode of whatever subject I write. It is my blog.

But, the responsibility is mine. On things I write. With or without comment.

Otherwise, better put the blog as a private blog. It's safe. It's comfort. No harm done from stranger. My own world. "Me Rule"

Becoming a blogger is an act of courage?

Write and Read

2007-08-22T14:48:00.000+07:00

To write better, I have to read more on better book. This is to make sure not to make Andrew Keen -I don't think bloggers read- satisfied. I do read *eyes looking at the pile of unopened-unread books*.

Wondering why it's called blog-walking instead of blog-reading?

my favorite part is when Andree Keen stated "To my mind Wikipedia is not wise".

The Kiss

2007-07-10T09:31:00.000+07:00

I miss a very good kiss.

It's a roller coaster journey. Scare a bit in the beginning, but falling in love with the game instantly.

You're going up and down. A very slow up up riding, but then a very very fast down down riding. Make a turn in the peak moment, and the adrenalin goin so high.

At the end, it's a slow riding, going to a horizontal line. Feel all the emotion. Enjoying every moment of it. Beautiful. And you want to do that all over again.

A good kisser or a good kissing. You decide.

Promise Me, Not!

2007-07-05T10:04:00.000+07:00

Don’t make promise when you are in joy.

Why so?

We tend to broke it later, when we’re not in the very same joyful joyful feeling. It’s far way to easy to make promise when we’re happy. Like, when we’re madly in love. We can promise almost anything, even to bring mountain if necessary.

How suprising we are, when we realized of all the promises we made!

I’ll call you, I’ll text you, I’ll meet you, I’ll help you, I’ll teach you, I’ll bring it to your place, I’ll promise I’m going to stay with you forever and ever.

Ah, beautiful promises indeed beautiful only when we are in joy.

Next time you promise anything, anything at all, don’t make promise when you are in joy.

About Worry

2007-07-03T12:23:00.000+07:00

I'm all stressed out.

It's just a messy way to welcome Miss July into my calendar. Well, for a start, I was not able to going back to Jakarta last Sunday. On the other hand, I was forced to drive all the way back to Bandung. My car forced me. It forced me more. To spend the whole day, at the mechanics. Well, that car wanted its full treatment. The one that I forgo easily due to huge amount of extra-activities and inability to visit Bandung as I wanted to.

Monday was gone just like that. Waiting for my car to get repair.

Tuesday I am facing piles of reports to be finished. Soon (read N.O.W). I was all awake last night, try to get myself to work, but ended up staring the iBook with a big BLANK in my mind.

Who’s to blame, when I’m all stressed out?

And, then, this text arrived:

6:25"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 6:26"Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? (taken from Matius 6:25-26)

Thank You! You’ve made my day.

5 Ways To Keep A Woman Away

2007-04-26T17:01:00.000+07:00

At least, for me. These five are works to keep myself away from a man:

Talk about your money. Of how much you spend to buy your latest car, or latest house or latest anything. Please! This trick is really usefull for some parents eager to have wealthy son-in-law. But for me, well, have to say that am not your personal banker. So, please take away that bank statement out of my sight. NOW.
Especially, after doing #1, you insist to split the bill. I like to pay my own drink and food, and I don’t mind even to pay yours, once in a while, but have to pay me (and worse: ours) that after talking that amount of money? No O!
And later, you texted just to say very harsh thing, in a manner of “oh-it’s-just-a-little-joke”. You are forbid to make any comments on physical appearance, let alone to make joke of it. Compliment, that’s what you have (okidoki: allow) to say, at least at the preliminary phases.
Confident that her current boyfriend is not worthed at all, and talk about it outloud to anybody you know. Don’t count on your chicken’s eggs until they are hatched.
Not talk about the content of your head. Oh, wait, I know, that because it’s empty, right?

2007-04-02T09:19:00.000+07:00

I remember everything, more than you know.

I remember the first time we met.
I remember our first trip together.
I remember our first long conversation, under the full-moon.
I remember our evening walk around the city.
I remember our out-from-the city trip, just for fun.
I remember our coffee-chocolate time at our place.
I remember our discussion about almost everything.
I remember too much.

I remember everything about you. In fact, everything reminds me of you.

I know you won’t talk to me anymore.
I know you rarely take a look at my corner.

Nevertheless, I want you to know, I am not giving up in hope and faith of His promise and our love.

Snack Meeting Package

2007-03-28T08:42:00.000+07:00

I hope it's just coincidence.

When we (read: Indonesian) asked a meeting, we had to brought 'snack' for the meeting . When they (non-Indonesian) attended a meeting at the very same place with the very same person, they received already-prepared snack in a stylish arrangement! Gee. Color determined the type of service, even in your own place!

I remember a place, where tea and coffee are common things to be offered to a guest, and that's it. No snack package, no exaggerate-food-preparation, no matter what your skin color is.

Hot Humid Day

2007-03-15T13:53:00.000+07:00

AC is not present at the moment, maybe AC taking sick-leave?

I hope not long sick-leave, since I'm sick to death to work in this hot-humid weather, with my skin stick to my glass table and deadlines in front of me!

This is one downside of working in office hour. You can't just get out and looking for a new place to work when office environment is not friendly with you. It's office hour, and even when electricity was off *just like yesterday* or other things happened, you just have to be in the office. Gosh

When the repair man will bring back the cold-calm-weather to my room?

Flying Without Wings

2007-03-13T09:12:00.000+07:00

In this country, where plane accidents become a trend *sad to say, really*, I found several changes of passenger behaviour. To name a view:

1. A pray before take off is a must. I saw parents told their kids to send a pray before take off.
2. Not to mention to bring whatever holly bible you believe to be read during flight. I was surprised, I saw quite number of people who actually bring their bible to the plane, and read it during the flight.
3. To - finally - listen really carefully on safety flight procedure announce by flight attendants. No one, except one or two people ever really listen to them before. At least, that's my previous experience.
4. Priest, spiritual teacher or any similar profession is more than welcome to be in the plane, since - based on perspective of some passenger - their prayer are powerfull. It's like a guarantee of the safe flight (!).
5. Number of people become airplane or air transport expert. They know exactly age of each plane, including its history.

However, the series of accidents don't change the behaviour of talking with your mobile on board, just before take off, or exactly a second after the landing. It's become even worse. Their arguments: since it's like signing a death contract (to fly), it is better we talk to our relative before take off, in case something happened, and talk right away when we arrived, to inform that we're save.

Yes, I saw some changes, on passenger behaviour, but unfortunatelly, not changes from THE authority, those parties related with safety flight.

Palu-Middle Sulawesi: It's a city where everybody knows everybody

2007-03-09T09:55:00.000+07:00

Right after I step in the airport, I can see everybody greetings each other. Later in the evening, I learned that Pak Ahlis and Ibu Nuti, two person who invite me for dinner, know almost everybody who we saw in the hotel and the restaurant. Even more, two person we met end up sit with us and chit chat for about another hour. You can guess, that the talk mainly about who's who in this city. I think, an hour with them provide me with all necessary gossip about quite important and not so important person here.

A really good welcoming dinner. Gave me a glimspe of the city dynamic interaction.

I saw the beach, I saw the mountain, I saw the city-light in the evening of a full moon, I saw the stars up in the sky. I love the city. I love the food (well, I never though I will be able to finish one whole fish!). I drink sabara, and enjoy the hot ginger in it.

In my very short time, I managed to visit Parigi-Moutong, a regency nearby Poso. It's a sad thing that I didn't have a chance to visit Dongala, though.

Visited Palu, reminds me of Tarutung, the hometown of my sister-in-law. Although Palu is way bigger and busier than Tarutung but, c'mon, you can't hide here. Wondering what if they feel like having another lover in this city where eyes are everywhere *wink wink*.

Everything can be a musical instrument, for Jamie Cullum

2007-03-09T09:52:00.000+07:00

The best thing of Jamie Cullum in Java Jazz Festival 2007 is his freshness. He is so now.

Well, JJF surely has quite number of young talent. But up to the second festival it was limited to domestic talent. Well, I have no complaint of that. I saw my first Malik & d'essentials performance in JJF2005. I enjoy the sound of piano playing by the very young Zefanya. I admirer and fall in love instantly with Tompi in JJF 2006. I can go on with list of local young talented musician.

But, for the first time we have the very rising star. The Jamie Cullum. I heard about surprises he makes on his shows througout the world, but yet, to see himself, live is really such an experience. I hate the fact that I am not at the very first row, but hey, second row is not bad at all.

He plays piano, drum, guitar, and God knows how many instrument will he use to produce great sound. He tried to speak Bahasa Indonesia, in really good accent. Bravo, Jamie. He put all his energy into it, talk to the audience. He is really an entertainer, but more than that, he is a really brilliant entertainer with outstanding talent and skill!

800,000 special show ticket plus around 400,000 daily ticeket. It cost more than a million rupiah, even more than average monthly salary of Indonesian, but still, it was a sold-out show. It's all worthed. ALthough he didn't play everlasting love and I could have dance (my fave), he was playing what a difference a day would made! A very romantic song that made me hope so much that I bring someone just to hold hands during the song.

About his walking at his piano, we heard that.

But, when sudenlly I heard bring sexy back from him, lurve that honey! And, he said (well, sing actually)," don't you wish your boyfriend was short like me." Hell yeah, I wish..

I wish to see his live performance more. Hopefully, in enough time to save since I believe the price of the ticket will not be a cheap one!

ps: have you heard about the gossip of him and the azhari's members?

Great Communicator

2007-03-08T15:17:00.000+07:00

I don't want to talk about Nokia Communicator, one most-sell mobile phone in this country, despite the label as poor country *they say, it's a symbol not a mere mobile phone..hell yeah*. No I don't want to talk about it, but I want to talk about communication style of John Scofield.

It was at his performance, I reminded of how music is about communication. John was trying to communicate whatever feeling he had, whatever things he want us, his audience, to received. And, he did it well. An instrument should be an instrument. Is is a tool to express the mind of its propetor. Through his skilled finger, John use his guitar to speak to us.

Off course, communication should be two way and for sure, both parties should understand each other. Music is always claimed as universal language. It is. However, as Indonesian try to talk to non-INdonesian, the use of the same language will always be a benefit. If not, each has to try harder to understand each other.

In a room where most people (I assume) talk the same language, that is music and more particularly, jazz, John made it briliantly. I was stunned by not only his skilled to play the instrument, but more to his way to communicate with me.

For me, it should be all about communication! Music indeed a universal language! And I can't wait to see his other performance. I hope he will come again to Indonesia.

Java Jazz Festival 2007: The Festival of Surprises

2007-03-05T08:43:00.000+07:00

Indeed. There are many surprises!

1. First surprise: I begin the festival with almost a cry! I start the festival with the performance of Kenny Rankin, and boy, he is so great. I was about to cry, to hear his guitar playing, listen to his voice. It’s so calm, so great. A surprise, Airto Moreira and Brian Bromberg were performing too. Together, it’s just a perfect opening for me.

2. Second: The star is really so close to us, it’s not always up in the sky sky. Well, I missed Balawan and Tompi (all my Indonesian favourites, you should really listen to them), but it was OK, I had a great time with Jeffrey Osborne and Deniece Williams. The surpise is JEFFREY went down to us, his audience. No, not within the fence, but, even more, to the very middle of the crowd. I think he made the committee went crazy. Jeffrey was like only an inch for me. Too bad, it wasn’t me who sing with him. It was another girl. Oh, on the wings of love…..

3. Third: That even beautiful woman with very beautiful voice could fall sometimes, into something horrible. Another surprise in not too good way is Cindy. Oh, girl, you are so beautiful, and I know you have a very beautiful voice. But, hey, what are you doing with the dress, the hair and the wanna be dancer? I know WB dancers are great, but that Friday night, no way, girl, it’s just so cheap. It’s cheap at the very down way. I think you tried to be sexy dirty something, but, it made us not hear your voice and not see your beautiful face. A pity!

4. Four: I saw one of the most sexiest hand! Well, I saw this very lady who plays piano exceptionaly, and sing so stunning. The Diane Schuur herself. However, I found the sexy hand in her performance. Too bad, it’s not her hand but his hand, the hand of her bassist! You know what, later that day, I was able to recognised the hands for afar! Btw, Diane Schuur is really a great musician. Her performance was way more entertain at the second show (Saturday) beside the first show (Friday). She said,”Oh, I feel like I want to sing this” at your second show.

5. Five: Level 42 is a bit boring. Sad to say, I love Level 42. I used to play their songs in the radio. I have several of their CDs. I blame on the very uncomfortable seat I had and the feet I accidentally sit upon!

6. Six: Tortured Soul really tortured my soul in a very sexy way They are awesome. Playing like they never get tired, have bunch of energy. Got their autograph (stupid me, why didn’t I just kiss em all??). They make me want to dance, enjoy the evening.

7. Seven: Daugthers of Soul are daughters of angels!

Gee, their voices are breath-taking. I am so happy that I got their autograph. Their range of voices is incredible. They sing with their soul. They sing like sisters chit-chat. So colourful. The surprise is to see Chaka Kan accompany her baby, her daughter, singing in the stage. The very best surprise is to see Nona Hendrix with her remarkable costume. Oh, man, you should’ve seen her. She is bootylicious indeed. Her voice, her shake (oh, well, shake and shake all the way there), her performance was just incredible. Not really jazzy jazzy tunes, more to rock your body kinda thing.

8. Eight: I found out I love all those electronic sound I never thought I would.

But seeing John Scofield! Waw. It’s The John Scofield. You know what, he make me understand that it’s all about communication. How an instruments is really a tool to communicate. I can feel John’s feeling. The techniques are a lot. But it’s beyond technique, I think, it’s because he is communicate with us.

9. Nine: Joshua Redman and SF Collective stole my heart too

Not only because Joshue is soo handsome *except for little tiny bit not so good about him* but because he play so briliant. SF Collective really clever. It's like taking Jazz 101. You know, that school-educated-kinda-thing.

10. Ten: Chaka Kan is a real Diva

She act like one, she sing like one, and she expect others to react to a diva. I enjoy her show better when she sang with her daugther earlier at the daughters of soul performance. Screaming and pointing others to sing a bit for her througout the show. Saw Jeffrey Osborne and Marcus Miller (!). Great so great.

11. Eleven: Lisa Ono singin Bengawan SoloI saw her twice. The first was after midnight show. The second, she calmed me down *after a very hectic and disasterous day!* Her voice...oh, I can listen to her hours and hours.

12. Twelve: Jamie Cullum... Bloody Good.

Well, I'm happy I ended the festival with Jamie *have a morning flight the next day, had to go right after his performance*. He made me sing, scream and sweat. Can't say no more. Am out of words.

I met new friends, unknown *since I never asked their names*, but jazz lovers. It was a great surprise. I went there alone, but really it turned out, I am NOT alone.

I saw other performances too. Will write more, but after Jamie, am just too exhausted.

Farewell To Sleepless Nights

2007-02-28T13:57:00.000+07:00

Work on a (sometimes, very) short term, with load (or more precisely tons) of work, pused me to stay awake late evening, to finished the tasks. Most of the times, I work straight 15-24 hours a day. It’s OK, since after a month or two, the job is finished and I take sometimes off. Sleeping, that’s my favourite way to spend the time off.

Although it’s bit too early, I am now sleeping like normal people! Around 10, I’m off to my room, spend sometimes alone for my quite moments, and then … sleep. I don’t have to turn on my laptop when I arrived at home. I don’t have to review documents during my breakfast time.

Yes, it is to early to say, nevertheless I sincerely hope it will be a new practice of my sleep mode.

Welcome Nine-To-Five Life!

2007-02-27T16:22:00.000+07:00

Yes, dear, I've been neglecting this for awhile. Too much English-writing on not-so-much-interesting-topic pushed me to take a break of writing.

At the end, it was fabulous 2007.

Being in Banda Aceh, for once, was a great thing. A milestone. The worst and the best time of my career. Well, if working freelance can be considered as “career”, course. I experienced working at remarkable institutions, undergo the very best and the very bad management at the same time.

But life is movin on, and I choose another path of work.

As I told my family about where I’m going to work this year, they are so happy. Well, they are already prepared to have me stay in Banda Aceh (again) for the next nine months, but instead here I am, closer than they thought. It’s like, deep down, they are shouting,”finally”.

At the end, freelance is still not a very safe thing to do. At least here! Doesn’t care if you make enough money for yourself. Doesn’t care if you really enjoy the work. Doesn’t care if you really make a good life. As long as you do it mostly at home, at your most convenient working hours, parents still are anxious.

And now, here I am, working as full-timer-nine-to-five-for-five-days-a-week! You should really congratulate me. There’s not much I can say about the work, not that I don’t want to, but more like, I have no idea what to say…yet!

I think there should be a guidance of favourable job based on country, or even better, based on suku/ native (at least for Indonesian reference). Wondering how differs the selection will be (or, maybe how similar, that is, the amount of money received regularly!).

Discussion: your passport to get jailed!

2006-12-18T15:12:00.000+07:00

There are many ways to get caught up by the police, to be handcuffed, and stayed a night or two in jail. From passing the red-light, until stealing somebody else’s property. From selling you-know-what-kind-of-drugs until killing someone (or something, sometimes).

But, just recent, I realized that to learn something, can put you into so much trouble, including jail.

It was last Thursday, when it’s all happened. A phone call informed me that a discussion about international contemporer-marxist movement had been dismissed by a group of people because they don’t like it. The December 14th, 2006 at 19.20 in a bookshop called Ultimus.

Actually, I kind of hoping that it will happened. Not that I want it to happened, but after previous threatened phone calls, I knew something will happened. Let me ask you something, what do you think will happened when:

Four days before the discussion, there were phone called to both Bilven (Ultimus) and Sadikin (committee). They said, they are intelligent of Bandung Police. The conversation was about the discussion at December 14th, 2006. From that on, unknown calls had been received by both Bilven and Sadikin.
Three days before the discussion, intelligent of Bandung Police (Intel Polwiltabes Bandung) came to Ultimus asked activity permit. A question that had been followed by a letter from committee to the police office, to informed about the discussion.
Two days before the discussion, the same institution came back. This time, asking nationality of speaker of discussion. They said, they are coming from imigration section. On the same day, some men came to Ultimus, asked leftish books.
A day before the discussion, again, from the very same institution, asked Ultimus and Sadikin to see second chief of the intelligent (Waka Intel Polwiltabes Bandung). The two were asked to give further explanation about the discussion. The two decided not to come, since there is no written letter for that request.
Half an hour before the discussion, even before the participant of discussion arrived, cars were parked, men – claimed came from community organization – arrived and stayed around Ultimus.

I was celebrating Christmas at Sabuga when it’s all happened. A phone-call told me that Sadikin and Marhaen, the speaker, were being handcuffed while Ultimus is in chaos. When asked was it the police, she said no, it was the community organization called PERMAK. Later on, more people were caught up. This time, by the police. In total, there were 11 people interogated by the police, and being locked up for 24 hours.

They had just started the discussion for about 10 minutes when it’s all happened. More people hadn’t been arrived for the discussion, and yet, they found only police line around Ultimus.

The reasons that the police gave:

No permit
The Republic of Indonesia (NKRI – Negara Kesatuan Republik Indonesia)
Safety. That it was for safety reason, and it had been coordinated. The police has authority to do anything for sake of safety. So, it was a preventive action.
Based on report from some people. They said, they didn’t like the activity.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I spent hours at my cousin’s house, to clear my mind, to reduce anger, to concentrate on next steps I should take. I spent hours texted Sadikin – Abang – just to know what happened in the police station. By Friday noon, I was exhausted. I read all online news, from detik until personal blog. I read written newspaper. However, I never had a chance to see television news. More phone calles came. All asking the condition, and progress of 11 people interogation. They had saw television, read newspaper, online news or received smses about it.

By 23.00, December 15th 2006, the police decided to released all 11 people. The police said, that they could not find anything that indicated communism outreach whatsoever in the discussion.

Those 11 people are now outside jail, but it doesn’t mean that they are free. The police decided to release 11 people, but decided not to take the police line around the Ultimus bookshop. No one stayed in the jail, but the case has not been closed formally.

Communism, is a magic word. One doesn’t need a bomb to create terror. Just shout “communism” and, believe me, you got the terror you need. In fact, you don’t need to say that word, try to put Karl Marx picture, to have Marx’s books, and to write something about Marx, and you already (claimed) to create a terror.

Why was that? Because we’ve been taught to get fear by those words. We’ve been told to get away from those things. Don’t try to understand. Just keep away from anything related to those words. Be a good citizen by not questioning anything, just be submissive, and you’ll be safe. Safe from what? Dunno.

Put that on your not-to-do-or-you-get-locked-up-by-the-police-list!

The only time that you are free to say kiri (left in Bahasa Indonesia), is when you are trying to stopped the public transportation, so that it will stop at the left side of the road and allow you to step out of the car.

The Traveller Worker

2006-12-18T08:25:00.000+07:00

I’m totally in trouble. I am now having difficulties working in a decent-normal working place such as an office room and including my beloved working room at home. I am now in a good mood to write only when I travel. That is in the train, in the plane, while I’m boarding, while I’m waiting for my bus that kind of thing.

Maybe because I travel too much these days. Well, not that much so that my airlines miles allow me to go somewhere fancy, but quite a lot so I find it is hard to settle in a place for quite sometimes.

I am now in new Juanda Airport. Totally brand new airport, with a bunch of Dutch(es) :D

While most ot them are enjoying this bussiness trip with some pleasure as I used to do, I have to enjoy myself to finished pile of paper works in every place that allow me to stay at least half an hour. Really, half an hour will do for just a paragraph or two. Either reading or writing.

It’s not as fancy as you thought. Going everywhere with your laptop, mobile, PDA, and looking (as if) busy with typing typing and typing. Gee. Not. In fact, I really miss to be able to work in a desk, with normal situation for work.

Now, I can say, that my iBook G4 definetely my very best friend and I love her so much.

Long Lost Letter

2006-11-02T21:56:00.000+07:00

How far you will go for a thing called "love"?

2006-10-20T12:29:00.000+07:00

an imaginary conversation...unfortunatelly, it's kinda hard for me to translate it? any volunteer to translate this very seductive conversation?

-------asked to be removed-----

but, I wont delete the title anyway...

Is that HOT or what?

It Might Be You cross finger?

2006-09-10T22:52:00.000+07:00

Stephen Bishop's It Might Be You always steal my heart. I remember that I started to fall in love with it since my junior high school. Back then, I don't think I ever really thought about the lyrics. Somehow, I just love it.

Tonigh, most probably, my first time to really catch by its lyrics. Just realized, that this song is something that I'm looking for. This is a song that explain so right about my love life.

Remember the first part of the song?

Time. I've been passing time watching trains go by
All of my life. Lying on the sand, watching seabirds fly.

Do you ever know how it feel? To walk alone, looking at the crowd surround. To sit on the train, and take a look at beautiful scenery outside, wondering, wishing...

Wishing there would be, someone waiting home for me...

Well, not literaly. At least, at this moment. My family, my beloved family always waiting home for me. They are my precious gift. I love them. But still, wishing there would be, someone waiting home for me, is something that keep pooping up in my mind.

Looking back as lovers go walking past.All of my life, Wondering how they met and what makes it last. If I found the place Would I recognize the face?

How do you know that? Sometimes, I wonder, why -for some- they found and recognize the face just like that.

Hey you, I just want to tell you....

Something's telling me it might be you, It's telling me it might be you. All of my life.

I realize, every now and then, I keep wondering. Is it?

So many quiet walks to take. So many dreams to wake. And we've so much love to make. I think we're gonna need some time. Maybe all we need is time. I've been saving love songs and lullabies and there's so much more. No one's ever heard before.

Although I'm sick with that maybe-all-we-need-is-time, still I something's telling me it might be you

And it's telling me it might be you
All of my life...

Maybe it's you...

I've been waiting for all

Lost and Found: a Yahoo! id

2006-09-01T10:42:00.000+07:00

On Wednesday, I lost my yahoo-password.

It made me realize how important a Yahoo-id is! Gee, I can’t remember my id number nor my passport number, but I (have to) remember my yahoo id and its passowrd.

I used my id number only for administrative thing, which is rarely. In a year, probably I have to write my id number only two or three times. But, in a day, I have to write my yahoo id two or three times.

Strange, how a virtual id is used more frequent and even – sometimes – more important than a reality id.

So, when I lost my yahoo-password, thanks to that pikasebeuleun-jangkrik-robot-hacker took over my yahoo, I was so mad. My temper was unbelievable. It drove me even crazier since I have a deadline on Friday.

I need that password desperately. I have to/ need to/ want to talk to several people. I need to access an old contact that I haven’t put into my current address book. Anyway, I just need it badly and when I can’t have it I just can’t focus on anything.

The thing is I need to answer key question. A specific question I’ve made so that yahoo able to provide me a new password. Well, it should answer the problem, if only I put other than anniversary date as a key question.

Phhffff! Anniversary date? Which one? HA! As if, right.

It took more than 24 hours, one temporary-locked account, before I could figure it out. I didn’t put that anniversary date on mm/dd/yyyy manner, instead I put it in such a way that only me (I think) who ever think a date in such a sentence.

Mmmm, wondering, what happened if the woman of my ex-boyfriend find out that I used “our” date?

Music - Indonesian Idol3

2006-08-24T00:48:00.000+07:00

I love music. Period.

No matter what kind of mood I'm into at that time, I just lurrve music. It's like, the best very best best friend for me. Music will be there when I'm happy, sad, in the mood, not in the mood.

Last nite, I saw the 3rd Indonesian Idol. I don't feel anxious since my beloved Gea already out from the game. But gee, when I hear music, when I see a music performance, I feel so good. I feel great.

Indonesian Idol, it's just another talent searching show. It is. But, still, I prefer Indonesian Idol than Akademi Fantasi Indosiar. It has a better packaging show. C'mon, just take a look at the stage of Indonesian Idol and AFI. Indonesian Idol...just A GRAND show. It's lighting, it's stage, it's vibe. Not to mention a great music, a great arranasement. It makes me so alive. And, see how the costume for Indonesian Idol. Gee, I wonder why AFI doesn't permak their finalist in really really good make up artist.

Indonesian Idol show was at the same time with Robbie Williams show in berlin. Take a look of how the stage of Indonesian idol and Robbie. Not bad, right. Well, I do believe, in entertainment, especially in "packaging" we're quite advance.

Anyway, I feel great now. I forget - for a moment - of all those sad things

Knock Knock. Are you there?

2006-08-15T23:06:00.001+07:00

Physically, we’re close. We’re closer than several months ago, even closer than several weeks ago. But somehow, I feel we’re getting away with each other. Further.

There’s an extra space between us.
Back then, I couldn’t wait to fill in those empty space between us.
Now, I’m just to lazy. To lazy to ask. To lazy to listen. To lazy to hug. To lazy to put extra energy for him. Don’t want to talk? Don’t want to share? Don’t want to inform all-those-little-things in your daily days? Fine.

Do I stop falling in love with him?

I don’t know.

What I know is, I’m still thinking of too-many-strategies-to-win-this-battle. Not battle with him. Rather, for him. What I know is, I’m still thinking of future days with us starring the scene. Although, without the big dream whatsoever anymore. Just us. What I know is, I’m still praying for him. Daily and mostly on Sunday.

So, why I feel this way?

Why I feel as if he doesn’t listen to me as carefull as before? When he remember everything, even the tinies, smallest thing I say. Regardless its importance (since I’ve known for my not-important-but-I-just-have-to-tell-you-the-full-version mode of story telling). As a person who used to say - do you say that, really? Sorry, I can’t remember – now, it is seem like his turn to say that. Now, it is me who say – I’ve told you, I’ve told you million of times that I have this or that today.

Why I feel that he – ehm, maybe better I put we – lost our energy to keep trying. To give our best. To give our biggest energy for us.

It’s like… almost giving up

Are we?

I miss him, I miss those moments. Those talks. Those trips. Those driving-around-without-nowhere-to-go days. Those careless times.

Had it gone?

I don’t want to talk about back-then, but I would like to have all those sweet and lovely memory to hold for better days in front of us. I hope.

I miss us, without burden. Just us, with love.

Four Games

2006-08-12T13:00:00.000+07:00

Dinda, an awesome girl put me into this task, to fill in this “four” game, well, here they are

Four jobs I've had:
1. Lecturer
2. Anouncer
3. Event Organizer
4. Reseacher, consultant for your et ce te ra problems

Four movies I could watch over and over:
1. The Sound of Music
2. As Good As It Gets
3. Taxi
4. De Lovely

Four places I have lived in:
1. Bandung
2. Jakarta
3. Rotterdam
4. Banda Aceh (well, I was there for more than a month, and somehow took a bit of my heart)

Four TV shows I love or loved:
1. Oprah Winfrey Show
2. Friends
3. Insert – entertainment gossip show (ha!)
4. Film film sitkom-gak-penting-gak-lama-dan-gak-mikir

Four places I have been on vacation (can’t state “place” so I choose country I’d visited. Unfortunatelly, it has to be “on vacation” whilce most place I visited during bussiness-vacation trip):
1. Krakow, Szeczin, Swinousjie - Poland
2. Paris, France
3. Pattaya, Thailand
4. Yogya, Cirebon, Losari, Siantar, Danau Toba and Samosir, Indonesia

Four favorite dishes:
1. Mie Baso a.k.a noodle with meatball
2. Ayam Sirapege. It is grilled chicken, then you just have to put it in small pieces, can’t find the right word for that. Eat it with hot chilli, onion, ginger and a bit salt.
3. Tofu, and the best tofu of all is Bandung Tofu. Delicious. Fried, OK. Boiled, OK.
4. Salad a la Pawel, with feta…hmmmmmm

Four websites I visit daily :
1. my Own
2. Calvin Hobes
3. Neighbourhood
4. Rumah Kiri

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Potluck
2. The Netherlands (I miss Dindin)
3. Amed, Bali (diving nearby Unieng’s )
4. in his hug *tsah*

Four bloggers I'm tagging:
1. Credo
2. Geget
3. Sahat
4. Juki

Phhfff, finished

Sing For Peace Sing For Friendship

2006-08-11T19:55:00.000+07:00

No, the title is not belong to Miss Universe event (they want World Peaceh, right?). It was a poster that can be found everywhere in Xiamen during the 4th World Choir Games 2006. I was there with 58 others. We, on behalf of ITB Choir, participated in the Games.

It’s like a long – very long – journey. We’d rehearsal since ages, or what seems like ages for me. Some of us are living in Bandung, but there are more people living in Jakarta. Every weekend, they have to travel Jakarta-Bandung, spending 2-3 hours (depending on moda of transportation and traffic) multiply two.

It’s all worthed!

Xiamen is a cozy city. Love its cleanliness. Love its highrise building. Love its wide-and-cute-with-various-tile pedestrian way. Love its green area. And, especially love it SHOPS. I am not THAT shopaholic, but DVD/CD shop with price-that-make-my-mouth-open-wide had robbed me, made me bankrupt. You just hav to luurrve shopping. Clothes, shoes, electronic, food. You name it. Shopaholic out there, you will find heaven in Xiamen.

As for me, living in muslim country, to find too many places selling pork its like giving too many toy to a kid. Although I am not fond of red meat, suddenly it’s like an obligatory, compulsary to eat pork whenever possible. Gosh, it’s so damn delicious, but after sometimes the smell of it made me sick.

I stayed in a small but comfy inn called J-inn, where most of the team lived at Middle School No. 8. A big public school with dormitory that had been turned into choir village. Bit sad that I couldn’t stay in the dormitory due to some reasons. Hey, I stayed there for a night, shared a single bed with Kia *blink blnk*. Just a night that almost made me crazy. It was just after we performed for mixed choir, me and some friends (including our conductor) about to going back to our inn on a stormy day, when police stopped us and interogate us in the middle of the storm (real one!). Can’t believe it. The one and only one night I spent in dormitory ended like that.

Atmosphere in choir village was great. Musical, fun, crazy although sometimes, it can lead to bored. However, it made me think of my friends from other part of the world. When I met team from Gdanks, I will remember Pawel, Norber. When I met team from Africa, I remember Masala, Ayalew, Ana, and many more. When I saw some columbian, I can’t forget our basement pary in Rotterdam with too many crazy latinos who taught me too many dances. Especially when I saw a choir from Eastern Europe such as Latvia! Dunno how, but being in choir village even for such a short time, always bring back some sweet memories from the past. It reminds me to ask… how are you guys? (Although I know who pregnant, or just married, or just moved to another city and went to peak somoni).

Unfortunatelly, I think I didn’t really enjoy the Games itself. You see, when you are competing, you give your full energy to it. That’s what happened. I enjoy the trip together with the choir, but I didn’t know about the rest choir. I know each and every single rehearsal in Middle School Number 8. You know what, our Liasson Officer was given a name “rehearsal” due to our never ending request on rehearsal room. We will come to venue just before our performance and leaved venue just after performance.

I love our enemy-but-turned-out-to-be-our-gueardian LO. They are so great. At first, we got Dorothy and Rain as our LO. It was like hell in the beginning. Try communicate with stranger on stressfull moment! None of us talking English in good manner. At second part, we got another LO, they are Dora and Larry. Well, “Dora” is not her real name. She is so cute. They have totally different personality and approach. We like them all.

I hope they will remember us, not with too many problems we’ve made for them (sorry, guys) but because our achievement. Well, we’re champion in folklore and mixed choir qualification, and we won 2 golds for our mixed youth choir and mixed choir, plus 2 silvers for our folklore and chamber choir. It was so great. Really. I still can remember the feeling when I heard that we got gold. Is it true? Oh, it’s so true. Wow. You know, even when you want something so badly, it is – sometimes – still make you think whether it’s true or not. Even, when you already work so hard for it.

The 4th World Choir Games was definitely something. I have never, ever in my life, going somewhere with too many people. And, it’s not only “travelling” but try to achieve something. I know there are still many choir with quality above ours, but I know, we are above some others. Satisfied? Off course, not. But it is a start for something better. I hope cross finger mode on.

Since You're in Aceh

2006-05-21T17:31:00.000+07:00

Nothin'

When will you go back to Banda Aceh?

2006-05-21T17:27:00.000+07:00

case closed
I'm in love

Itz Zo Hotz

2006-05-09T19:47:00.000+07:00

Reading has become my passion since too long ago. I like to read almost everything. From books to silly article, and I like to read people too. But not as physics or something, but more like an intel. Haha! As if!

Today, in the heat of Banda Aceh from outside, and inside my room (and my mind, most probably) I got stucked. I just can’t continue to write anything. Although there are so many things to write. Work. Blog. Emails. Just can’t

Too hot. That’s what I told my team leader. Hey, it’s Sunday afternoon and I just reject an offer to see sunset at Lho’ Na (reason: I have dinner ‘date” and someone’s suggestion). I regret that I didn’t go. Sea and beach (for sure) seem far so tempating than an office with my iBook, without any music and air conditioning. Phhff.

So I took The Zahir, and read couple of pages and *simsalabim* I feel like I want to write again. Not really related with what I read, but I just feel a ‘call’ to write again.

(is it the reading or the air conditioning in the room where I read that made me want to write? Kekekekek)

writing on 7th May

Do you believe in me?

2006-04-05T12:07:00.000+07:00

Do you believe in me?

Wait, that's not right...

Do you still believe in me?
Do you still have faith in me?
Do you trust me?

How far you're willing to let me come to your life?

Is there any doubt? Even the smallest tiniest doubt in you?

Please tell me. I need to know. It's important. Because I love you.

Rupiahs for Anger Management

2006-03-23T10:46:00.001+07:00

There ways to do some self control, especially when feeling so angry. For me, sleep is the best way. When I feel can't stand any longer, can't scream, can't show anger, I went sleep right away. Although it's not the best rest, sometimes even accompany with some strange dream, it proved the best way so far. I felt much calmer, and my hear more clear to see things that trigger my anger.

A friend of mine had a special way. She saved some money for each anger she felt. If she felt a bit angry, she'll put some tiny amount such as 100 rupiahs into her saving box. More anger she felt, more money she put. Yesterday, she told me that her box is full, and she's going to get another box, "because I have bigger heart for him (her man, he is, who should realize how lucky he is or things will get worse...I think).

What a way! Wondering, will she put 100 dollar banknotes? I think she get more angry with the money she put than her feeling towards her man :)

ps: gee, I feel so down and isolaten :(

The Passion of Java Jazz Festival 2006

2006-03-20T15:52:00.000+07:00

For the second time, I had a chance to see one fabulous event ever. The Java Jazz Festival! It was like a dream come true. When I was teenager (would like to say I am a teen, but no, I am a woman), I saw JakJazz Festival Promotion. I felt like it’s such a long way event to see. When I was in Rotterdam, North Sea Festival was held and I was crying since I couldn’t go due to some reasons I can’t remember.

Last year, I just don’t care about anything else, I bought the 1^st Java Jazz Festival at the first chance I have. Though it broke me as hell, I just don’t care. I was so blessed I had a job with quite some money that I can save some to buy that Rp 350,000 ticket. It’s seems cheap, it’s just about 30-40 US$ but at that time, however it’s more than a month payment (of one of my job).

I had one of the best sensation I ever had! It’s just heaven! To be at a place where music played at every corner. Not just regular music but deep-soul-music. That’s how I called that jazz. To hear some of best Indonesian musician from senior to the most youngest and promising star. To hear Tania Maria (!), to hear George Duke, to hear Dedato and many many more. Heaven!

Let me say to you, I am not a jazz-fanatic. I don’t have such craziness to only one kind of music. I love music too much maybe. Anykind of music played with heart. I love soul, blues, swing, jazz, choral and many more.

This year, the price increased twice times. Thanks for last year price, I already save some for this year event. Though the price still shocked me. The regular price: Rp 900,000 for 3 days event (around 90 US$, cheap right, just remember, it’s more than average minimum payment of Indonesia worker which is around 60-70 US$). I have to spent more for some special events which cost me Rp 150,000. (pssst, I got a cheaper price, anyway. blessed me :p )

But, hey, it’s damn so worthed. Take6 totally take my breath away, and still give me some sensation everytime I remember them. To, finally, getting groovy with The Brand New Havies, Incognito, Omar. To get so mellow with Patti Austin who really really touched my soul. Not to forget some greatest Indonesian singer (Tompi, love him!). To hear some "gamelan" with Ad Colen, to hear Bob James, to get stunned with so many more musician...

For some, it’s just unloggic, not making any sense, to spent so much just to hear some music. And it’s jazz, not so favourite type of music here. But, really, heard them it’s just so inspiring. How a person played some instrument, played the voice God gave in such a technique plus with a pure heart. It’s not only about skill it’s about passion and love.

I wish I have the very same passion…in life

Learning to say NO

2006-02-02T11:37:00.000+07:00

Is it everybody’s problem or is it only me who has this problem? The problem of saying No.

Saying no to parents is one of the hardest things to do. It’s just not appropriate. It’s like all of my life I’ve been told not so say no to parents or older people. It’s not polite. I should’ve try as hard as possible to fulfill their request. Especially being the oldest of five, I should give good example for my siblings. One of them is to be a great daughter, a role-model sister and just too many more. Sometimes I just want to say no but the thought of my parents get disappointed just unbearable.

It is also hard to say no to my loved ones. Family, boyfriends, best mates. I just want make them happy. Well, even to those whom I hate or let say people I don’t fancy that much – like boss, employee, and colleague – I can’t say no.

Shame on me  I know that.

There are times when I want to refuse everything because I have different way of seeing things. There are times when I want to say no because I feel used. There are times when I don’t want to say yes, because I believe I deserve more.

I think most Indonesian I know had the same problem with mine. At the end, I started to think it’s a culture, a custom, and a habit that shouldn’t get a place. Isn’t it right?

Well, must admit, I find it damn so hard to say no to an invitation to go to cinema or going to potluck for a hot chocolate or great coffee (even though my wallet scream out loud, kekekekekek)

Christmas

2005-12-30T21:50:00.000+07:00

Jesus, Christmas Tree, Presents, Songs and Discount!

I asked God
to
make you happy and smile
guide you safely
through every mile
grant you wealth
give you health
and most of all
give you care
love you well

Have a blessed Christmas, everybody

Me and my (extended) family

fyi: the picture was taken 24th December 2005, just one hour before we went to church with the very same t-shirt and jeans (my father was hesitant to go with that no-so-appropriate dress, but what the heck, all of us went to the service without changing anything)

Dillema

2005-11-10T21:56:00.000+07:00

It is strange.

When I was younger, I was allow to go home really late. As late as 6 a.m! Or even more. You know, those times when everything was so easy and careless. One reason of being home so late (or so early, since it's already a.m?) was clubbing or just hang out, eating noddle or chicken porriage in food stall around Bandung. Gee...how I badly missed those moments! Why? Because right now, I can only go out like 2-3 hours and I can't go out in the evening. If I refuse to think of those "regulations", there will be call and call from home, or sms and sms and sms....

Grown up with such habbit plus 1,5 years in Rotterdam, it became extremely hard to always tell where I'm going, for how long, with whom etc etc. Thousand of lists to fulfill before I put my foot outside my home-sweet-home. However, especially since my father's heart attack, it is became harder and harder to go out for me.

No. Wait. It's long before the attack. It's since I told my father that I fall in love with man that he hated so much due to some reasons I still couldn't get it. It's since my father (almost) retire time (retire mean he's still going Bandung-Jakarta pp and many places more, just that some of institution positions were off). It's since he, slowly but sure, come to (almost) 70.

I love my father. He is the love of my life. I am his golden daughter, and even his golden child, as most people always said to me.

But, it's just last year, that I realize how strong our bond is! He told me that ours - for him - it's almost like couple. He wants me to be at his side most of his time, to tackle so many things, from little unimportant things, until big things related to work. I really have to be able 24/7 for him, which is - actually - fine by me. I've done it like...all the time. Since I can remember :)

Did I ever complain? No, not at all. I think he is the reason for me to be alive! I've been involve with his work since kindergarten. I used to wait for him when he is teaching. I used to accompany him to go outside Bandung to teach. I used to make his presentation. Well, in fact, I'm still doing it. We used to go out, just for a cup of coffee or for one great movie (midnight is our preference). People might thinking that my father had a young lover, when we're together.

All these things make me wonder, is there any man outhere, willing to share myself with him? Or, will my father willing to share me with somebody else? it is hard to go out with a man, to socialize, when, right now, my father keep calling me anytime he needed me. My mom will call me when my father wants to eat, and need me to accompany him. It's extremely hard to go out in the evening, or near lunch time since it's his lunch time too. It's hard to be with someone, and just when I feel comfort and tune in with the ganks, he calls. He never push me, but I can never say no for him. Even if I choose to ignore, when he say it's OK and I can have my own time, my mind go to him, right away. My body is with my friends, when my mind is somewhere else. Unfortunatelly, when I'm with him, my mind go to another place, to my friends, to hang out, to places not at my house!

I became so sensitive and sentimentil. And he became even more.

I'm getting crazy. Really. Especially if there are two men. Two that I love so much and it seems that none of them want to share me with another one.

annoying

2005-10-10T11:15:00.000+07:00

I am used to a family with quite easy attitude. Why easy? Although I know that deep down their hearts my parents want me to have a permanent job and getting married just like everybody else, they almost never say it out loud directly to my face. In fact, they are so gentle about those things to me. Once or twice they say about their expectation, but never too demanded. I really respect them for that. They never push me with the why-don’t-you-get-settled-down question that freaking me out.

Perhaps, that is why I’m quite comfort with my lifestyle. Single (well, re-definition of my “single” status is really really necessary, but it’s another story!), and enojoying my freelance-part-time-short contract job here and there. I don’t feel a pressure to settle down.

HA! “no pressure”! It’s a dream! When my father was hospitalized due to his heart attack 2 weeks ago (thanks God he is fine and getting better day by day), families and colleagues came visited. Gee, not that I’m not grateful for their attention, but their attention is just too much for me. Some of them are people who I rarely meet, only on special occasion or particular moment like that time. They rarely meet me or my parents, but once they meet me, they started to shoot me with that very horrible question! They started to judge me, to questioning me. They critize my working lifestyle. They push me to get married soon (and off course, give my parents the grandchildren they’re waiting for). It’s all in the name of my father, that I have to consider my father age and healthy, so I have to get married soon and have a permanent job. It’s a must. Period.

I wont be this mad, if those answers came from those who knew me. I just can’t feel their sincerity. And, who the hell they are? Judge that I don’t have a job. What is a job for them? Salary? Well, I can have salary bigger than most of them, and most probably I enjoy my job more than theirs. I just can’t understand why people can come suddenly and act as if they know everything and start to messing around my life.

Good that I’m quite calm. I know that my parents want those things, although they never push me. I can see how happy they are, when I told them I’m going to get a permanent job this year (hopefully, it will!). I can see that it’s what my father hope, but he never say it explicitly (maybe because he know me too damn well). I love my parents for their understanding, I just hope that I can fulfill their dreams, hopefully, it’s the same dream with mine.

Why it takes so much just to go to Curch?

2005-08-29T21:38:00.000+07:00

When it’s so easy to build a mosque, it’s extremely hard to build a curch. Permit become a keyword to close many curches, even though it’s been more than 10 years. Well, some of them are new curches, but still, why a curch become unacceptable to be at the same area with residential, why there are (look like) thousands procedures just to be able to build one? Hey, look how many mosque we have…just everywhere, at every corner. Not that I complain, but, hey, why can’t we just praise the Lord’s name in peace?

Anyway,the important thing is not lay on physical building. A faith is in our heart. A believe is in our heart. With or without walls.

What is like to be a 30 (almost) in Indonesia

2005-08-04T21:07:00.000+07:00

About me:
I live with my parents and 3 sibbling, Ina 28, Moy 23, Adi 21, in Bandung, a nice city near Jakarta (one of my sibbling get married last July, Kris 26). I want to live by my own, especially after my life in Rotterdam, but I couldn’t do that. My parents will think that we’re in a row, and anyway, they just never let me stay alone as long as I live in the same town as them.

My work:
I love what I do. I love standing in front of my classes, teaching university student. I am a lecturer at several universities. I teach mostly for Urban and Regional Planning Department. I also working as a supervisor, sort of operational manager at one law consultant office. The other occupation is announcer. I work in a radio station as an announcer, talking behind mike. I can do that, since most of them are temporary works. I am a consultant for urban planning and management, mostly for government institutions. I can arrange by my own when I want to work, and I can take holiday almost anytime I want.

My 30th Birthday:
Will happen next year (in God's wil, off course). I really have no idea what will happened. My last birthdays passed just like that, nothing special. I still haven’t decided whether I’m going to make it special or just like the other day, working as usual. I wish I can spend the day with my love one.

Our national scandal:
There too many scandal. From one corruption to another corruption. It's to sad. But I love my country, I put my hope and faith for merah putih (our national flag).

My most recent shopping purchase
A brown Bally working-bag. My friend bought it, but then she decided to sell it again. I took it since I love the shape of the bag.

My philosophy:
Thing positive.

Inspired by Marie Claire June 2005

tatoo

2005-07-31T18:18:00.000+07:00

I had several tatoes several years ago, well, temporary though. Now, I'm thinking to have a real one. It's been in my mind for more than a year. I have some ideas of location and pattern, but, hey, there's no harm to ask. So, please, give me any suggestion, here or email.

Gee, can't wait...can't wait until he come and fulfill his promise to get me to his friend, the tatoo-maker

Be carefull on what you wish for...

2005-06-23T09:25:00.000+07:00

I heard this sentence long time ago. Never really think that it is a true thing. But now, I’m thinking, that I should be more careful with what I wish.

I love all things they said would make your wish come true. Shooting star, eating new thing, candles on your birthday cake, you know, those things. Nevertheless, just because I said I love those things, doesn’t mean I always make sure I never skip a chance to make a wish whenever possible. You know, I have a hard time to make a wish.

I saw lot of shooting stars in my life. Thanks to beautiful Bandung and those time where I used to go out after midnight (hehehehe, I missed stars so much when I was in Rotterdam, I hardly see one). My friend once said that I can see shooting star easily here, as long as I keep my eyes open around 2-3 am (mind you, 2 in the morning, yeah). I have to say it is true. I used to see shooting stars in the beach, sitting with friends, talking, singing, in the middle of the night. I saw shooting stars around 2 o’clock in the morning at the hilly side of Bandung, North or South Bandung. You know what, only one time I’d made a proper wish! Really. For the rest of the shooting stars, I only say thank to Whoever watch me from that high above.

It happened for those candles I had almost every year (well, this year no birthday cake whatsoever, anyway). Now think of it, I think I kind afraid to make a wish. I don’t why. Maybe because I’m afraid it will happened…or maybe because in fact, I am afraid it will happened.

It struck me. Am I afraid of my wishes, all these time?

Well, maybe I am. However, I do have one wish right now that I am begging to see shooting stars, to have a candle to blow on my birthday cake! I realized, usually I wont dare to say it out loud, to say that I really wish to happened. But God, I really wish for that one wish…if there are things I should do to make it happened, I’ll do it.

I only that hope my wish come true…

Stuck in a moment

2005-06-02T09:26:00.000+07:00

Have you ever feel so lonely when you are, in fact, present in a place full of people?

I have. Well, I am.

These days, I feel so lonely. I know there are friends outhere ...somewhere... but I have no idea why, for the last few months, I just stopped sharing things with them. I couldn't express my feelings, my thoughts, my happiness and my worries to them, like I always do. I just couldn't do that. It's not like they hate me or leave me, though. I feel like I have to keep everything alone, although I know, sometimes I feel everything are just too heavy for me, but I couldn't show it. People expect me to be strong, to be able to cope with everything, to be more understanding for everything happened, although it's bloody hard to understand even the smallest thing.

I am in one of those "stuck" moment like what U2 said in one of their song. My brain stopped working properly.

I know...I know...I have a Father who always stand by me. He never leave me. Never ever. I know...I know that my Father have the best plan for me, but I really have no idea what is that.

I wish for someone to hold me, to hug me and say ... everything will be just allright

A promise

2005-04-16T23:35:00.000+07:00

What's wrong with a promise? Everytime we make one, there are thousands things appear to break our promise. Am I right or what?

I promised to write my thesis everyday, and you know what, you saw me in front of my computer...not writing my thesis off course, I played those silly games. I promised to go swimming often *hey, it's only a step in front of Weenapad*, but suddenly I had this fever or that cold or whatever reason I have in mind. It is really hard to keep a promise, but I tried my best to do that.

I promised to write about my life by email, it never happened. Well, I don't think I'll be able to tell about the whole story of my life. However, I want to tell you that...I am wearing glasses. Gee. It's been a month. It feels so strange. I don't like how it feels at my nose. But, my friends were disagree with me. They said it looks good on me. Hmm, I don't know. You have to see it by yourself and tell me what do you think about it. Hey, it makes me remember of one of our so-called promise to have the first reunion, here, in Indonesia at 2005. Will it happen?

Would you tell me, please?

2005-04-06T21:42:00.000+07:00

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here,”asked Alice

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,”said The Cat

-Lewis Caroll, Alice in Wonderland-

Years ago, well, just several years ago, I used to asked myself that where-do-we-go-from-here question to my man in my past. We had this on-off-close-long-distance-relationship, you name it. There was a difference between, big enough to force us for not having any thought about that where-do-we-go-from-here thing. We loved each other. Much. But, that’s it. So we decided to put away that question and just live for that moment, for the love we had, for the time we had. It was okay at the very beginning, we were young and we used to say….so what, we had our love, that’s fine. I didn't care about which way we ought to go from there, because we didn’t want to go anywhere. You see, just like what The Cat said, it’s all depend on where you want to go, so, what’s the point to ask if you don’t want to go anywhere.

But, it had to ended anyway. For whatever the reason. After several years, we decided to move on, a year ago. Unfortunatelly, we decided to go to a different next-point.

I thought I had get out from that kind of situation. I came to the point where I wanted to asked myself which way I ought to go from here and found an answer, presumably from another man. Indeed, another man came. Sadly say, with the same please-do-not-have-where-do-we-go-from-here-thing. I, again, came to the never ending circle (it seems like that for me).

No, I don’t want it. Not this time. I still want to be able to asked Alice’s question. I would love if my man will answer it not with The Cat’s answer but with a destination, a place to go, for me and for him, for us. Unfortunatelly, it’s still depend on me, on where I want to get to. So, I said to myself to make own decision, and forbide anybody else to involve, help and ask…until someday, somehow I can ask to him,” “Would you tell me, please, which way we ought to go from here?”

e.a.s.t.e.r

2005-03-27T11:12:00.000+07:00

1 cross + 3 nail = 4giveness

Our Lord Jesus has risen today.
The greates love ever for the human kind has been assured for time to time.
Happy Easter
He loves you and bless you.

A Spy on My Blog

2005-03-23T10:54:00.000+07:00

Just found out that somebody (one person or maybe even more) like to see my blog just so he or she has a story to tell to others a.k.a gossip. I know, when I write things on my blog they became public. But it hurts so badly when I know that somebody read it just to hurt me.

I write everything I want. I talk a lot (I really mean it). I decided to write more than talk more. Here, on my english version, I hope some of my friends outhere still know what’s goin’ on with me. Most of things I write are really personal. It showed my feelings towards things or people.

I tried to be honest with what I write. What’s the point of writing something dishonest, anyway. But I never thought that it will turn out to be a deadly weapon for me. However, I think that’s just a part of having a blog.

Now, as I always do, I try to say, “I don’t care, you can keep reading my blog, I’m glad for that, if you make a wrong conclusion or make it as a tool to hurt me, go ahead. I don’t care. I love to write what I want, what I feel. I can say “I love you, I miss you” to anybody I want. For you… I just want to say, shame on you!”

Fyi, Love will find a way. Cross finger for that. Most importantly is that love is good, and I love to have that kind of love to him. I love him. So what? I know HE is going to help me and have the best plan for me, and that’s my guarantee.

A friend in need is a friend indeed

2005-03-22T09:16:00.000+07:00

I met some new friends last weekend. They are so great. Two of them are friends of a friend from Purwokerto. One of them wrote a book, and wanted to make a film based on that book. No, not a cinema-kind-of-film, but a film to force a social movement in a sea-village nearby Nusakambangan, Central Java. The other, is a person who have fight for agrarian reform for ages. A man who had been a living reference for a lot of people I know. It was a privilege to know him, to talk with him and then (if he don't mind) to be his friend.

I always love to meet new people, especially if I can make a new friendship with them. I love it so much. I like my first day in the class. I like my first day in the office. I like that sort kind of thing.

However, sometimes, friendship comes from unexpected place or process. Like, people keep saying that the Dutch is greedy-kind-of-people. But, gee, some of my very best friends are Dutch. Two of them are Claudia and Nicolette. I met Claudia when she took her internship at my office several years ago and later I met Nicolette, her sister. I think, I never able to express my gratitude to them, for a lot of things they’ve done for me while I was in Rotterdam. I still remember things, Nicolette gave without hesitant and I still remember that family-dinner Claudia threw at her graduation day (she counted me as one of her family member!)

Yesterday, I was so surprised with one shout at my Indonesian blog. Lenje mentioned that I rarely visit this blog. Later, I saw comments on my last posting. Gee, I almost cried! Really really. My last posting cointained one of the most heaviest burden in my mind. When I read every comment on that posting, I stunned. Most of them are people I never met, but they wrote something to encourage me. They maybe will never know how their sentences meant so much for me. Until now, I keep reading it and I feel lighter and stronger.

Although I never know them face to face, if they don’t mind, I would love to call them, a friend.

Confuse

2005-02-21T10:29:00.000+07:00

Lately, I feel so guilty but yet so happy. It's just amazingly confusing. I love him. Really. Love him so much and I just don't care about those labels people put on him. I always think that it doesn't matter. I love him, and he loves me too. Period.

I don't care about his past. I don't care about it at all. Anything that happen in the past may and may not be a description of what will happen in the future, right. But, there is another thing. The thing that always exist in most of my relationship with man. The thing that always appear when I love someone. The thing that stopped me from having a beautiful relationship with the man I love. It's just like the universe is againts me and him.

A different belief. It's not a matter of religion. No. A belief, I belief, is a thing that will allow you to live to the fullest (what a sentence!). You can belief in a religion or anything. A belief make me who I am now and (hopefully) who I am in the future.

I love him. I love to see him. I love to talk to him. I love just to be with him. It makes me happy, but also sad. Because I know it wont going anywhere. And I kept asking myself, do I make the same "mistake" again (although I don't think it's a mistake, anyway)?

Love

2005-02-14T08:07:00.000+07:00

If I make use of the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am like sounding brass, or a loud-tongued bell. And if I have a prophet’s power, and have knowledge of all secret things; and if I have all faith, by which mountains may be moved from their place, but have not love, I am nothing. And if I give all my goods to the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it is of no profit to me.

Love is never tired of waiting; love is kind; love has no envy; love has no high opinion of itself, love has no pride; Love’s ways are ever fair, it takes no thought for itself; it is not quickly made angry, it takes no account of evil; It takes no pleasure in wrongdoing, but has joy in what is true; Love has the power of undergoing all things, having faith in all things, hoping all things.

Though the prophet’s word may come to an end, tongues come to nothing, and knowledge have no more value, love has no end. For our knowledge is only in part, and the prophet’s word gives only a part of what is true: But when that which is complete is come, then that which is in part will be no longer necessary. When I was a child, I made use of a child’s language, I had a child’s feelings and a child’s thoughts: now that I am a man, I have put away the things of a child. For now we see things in a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now my knowledge is in part; then it will be complete, even as God’s knowledge of me.

But now we still have faith, hope, love, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

For me the greatest joy of all is to be surrounding my those who love me, and whom I love.

Pawel Zimnicki

2005-02-10T10:34:00.000+07:00

One of my very best friend who:

1) stayed on 7th floor at Weenapad 2) currently living in Szczecin, Poland 3) architect by academic, by heart, by blood 4) is happy living with his wife Beata, waiting for the new member of their family 5) have green eyes while sad or tired and a clear blue while happy 6) used to claim himself as a blondie, and blame the weather if his hair is a bit dark than usual 7) love kayaking, mountain, biking 8) crazy in love, forever and ever, with that Rolling Stones (you don't know them, shame on you!) 9) never, never finished everything that you can do it tommorrow (haha! don't you get mad at me, say!) 10) don't like to sit with his back at the door, "you have to sit like a big boss, your table face the door not your back!" 11) love to cook, and a really good chef (I miss your delicious salad) 12) had a crush with Leo van den Berg 13) love that Jack Daniels 14) gosh, there's just too many things about him but one of them is that he was born today, 10th February sometimes ago (can I reveal it, Pawel?)

Happy Birthday, Say!

Flying Up to The Sky...

2005-02-10T10:30:00.000+07:00

I love flying, by plane off course. Since when? No idea. Is it because I used to fly in my dream (because I am able to fly without wing in my dream, especially if I had a nightmare)? However, it doesn't matter. I love to fly. Period.

The last couple of weeks, I was busy fying from one place to another. It reminds me of my life in the middle of the year 2004. At that time, for 3 months, I had to fly, continuosly, from one city to another city. Exhausting but also exciting.

I always choose to seat by the window, front side or back side, I don't care as long as I sit by the window. Well, to be honest, I prefer to seat at the front row. You know, it's just too noisy at the back, especially if you fly with those new comer in airlines that used old aircraft. However, a ground staff told me that nowadays, people would like to be seated at the back row to the aircraft accident in Solo several months ago. Gosh, our life is in God's hands, so for me, it is fine to be seated at the front row, in fact I would love to sit at the front row than at the back row. You know what they said about flying often will damage your hearing (hmm, it reminds me, I have to check my hearing soon).

I love flying near sunrise or sunset. It's just beautiful, BEAUTIFUL view! I remember that sunset nearby Belgium (it was short trip from Brussel to Schipol). It made me smile during the trip, although my heart was so sad at that time. I rememberr that sunrise and sunset nearby Jakarta. Magnificent. Jakarta is not so beautiful or whatsoever, but with that sunrise/ sunset view, gosh, you wont put your eyes away from the window. I remember sunrise nearby Lombok, with Rinjani mountain in the middle. It spelled me, right there, right away. I can't stop praise His name for His beautiful work.

Flying abroad, especially those hours and hours trip is not that nice. I used to kill the time by sleeping, reading or watching movies. I don't have much chance to see outside window. However, it is so high that I wont be able to see anything but the sea. It is so different, if you have to fly a short distance such Bandung-Jakarta's trip. It was so low, so I can enjoy the beautiful landscape of West Java. It's just so beautiful. You should see it, those mountains, hills, rivers, and don't forget paddy fields. I love it. I love the scene I see. I enjoy every moment, every second I have on that plane. God is good indeed, He is the best artist. I see those views with a hope that I will never forget that landscape. I wish my memory is good enough to remember it. Off course, it is different if you have to fly in Kalimantan (Borneo Islands). You're going to see tropical forests without any houses. Not mention the small aircraft you have to take, so small even they have to check you weight (not only that luggage you bring!).

I love to fly, really. I am gratefull that I have several opportunities to fly. If only I can ride my own aircraft....hahahahhaha..you wish (Pawel, have you cure your allergic to fly?)

Happy New Year

2005-01-03T09:52:00.000+07:00

I don’t know what is it in front of us. I don’t know what the year 2005 will bring for us. I know I have a new hope for a brighter days. I remember that me and some friends made a plan to have a big reunion in Indonesia in 2005. I couldn’t remember whose idea, but I really hope that it will happen. The world still in deep misery because of tsunami. I’m still feel so sad about that. I still can’t keep my mind away from them, from Aceh, although I tried to avoid news about that, not that I don’t care. I just tried to do anything I can do from very far away. So, one of my hope goes to Aceh and other areas that destroyed because of tsunami. I hope the year 2005 will bring them out from this zero point. It is maybe just another new day, but I really hope that it’s not just another new day, it’s ‘a new day’, ‘a new beginning’.

The hourglass tilt to empty the final grains
Sifting our hopes in ebbing sands, impossibly holding back the past

Standing at the moment to forget, to create, to build high

To sow seeds of new truth to burgeon, where ashes of our old truths lie

Na een storm kan je, nooit de bloesems terug
brengen aan de takken, hoe hard je het ook probeert
Het oude jaar versleten, het nieuwe jaar geboren
De bloesems komen terug met nieuwe hoop and liefde

*A Very Happy New Year*
*Gelukigg Nieuwjaar*

Christmas Week

2004-12-30T14:30:00.000+07:00

What a week!
It was Christmas week.

It’s time for Christmas Songs, Christmas Tree, Christmas Cards and off course Christmas Presents. The last item had got me into such trouble. My own mistake that I keep waiting until last moment to buy Christmas presents. So, it’s just so obvious that I was heading into disaster. I bought most of them only one day before Christmas, at Chrismas Eve to be precise. I went to one shopping mall in Jakarta with my parents and my brothers. I’m not shopaholic, in fact, I don’t really fancy shopping. Shame on me, right? J Well, what should I say, I love to do book shopping or just strolling around without buying anything. Hey, but I tell you something, I like to try clothes at department store, just to feel great. Most of the time I wont buy it, I know exactly how much money I have!

After panic attact, I got everybody a present.

It was a different Christmas Celebration for me, since I celebrate it in Jakarta. Last year I was in Toba Lake with the whole family. This time, my parents decided we had it in Jakarta. Though I am not really pleased with the decision, but it’s OK, I understand really well why my parents made such decision.

We had our Christmas Eve at home, because my sister and one of my brother arrived pretty late. My brother couldn’t get train ticket so he decided to go by car, and my sister got lost in Jakarta and be at home several hours after she informed us that she arrived in Jakarta with her boyfriend. She was so pissed but thanks God we had a great evening.

On Christmas Day, we went to one curch, not the one that we used to go, and also not the one that most of us want to go. Time problem. It’s just wrong time. So we went to a curch nearby.

My parents and my brother went to North Sumatera on boxing day for my brother’s engagement. The rest of us stay at home in Jakarta, except my sister who went right away to Bandung because she had to submit final paper at her uni and had exams. My brothers had to go back also, since none of them got holiday for Christmas (only for 25th Dec), but they decided to skip classes :) Good for them!

Anyway, the day after we heard bad news. Tsunami that happened in Aceh and North Sumatera made us so sad. We were worried, because at the same time, my parents and my brother were flying across that area. Thanks God they’re OK. Although until now, we're not sure when they can return to Jakarta. They are stuck at Polonia Airport in Medan, the closest airport to Aceh. Most of regular flight were cancelled. I don’t know why it happened. Tears fall down. I feel hurt and sad. If you like to do something you can go to Bale Bengong’s Unieng, she wrote some links related to that accident.

So, for you all, Merry Christmas. I really hope that you had a great time with your loves one. Tsunami accident also reminds me, that we can’t planning anything. In a second, everything you have might gone just like that. Just be thankfull for His blessings, make the best of your time. Hug and kisses!

Alexander the Great

2004-12-13T21:31:00.000+07:00

I don't have any regret that I have to wait in a long queue for more than an hour and I have to sit at the front row (!) and sit still for the whole three hours for this Alexander. It's just a must see. Really, really.

It has flashback and flash-forward (is it a word?). Various war scene, from dessert war to tropical forrest war, from horse, camel and elephant. It's the same sexy-Angelina-Jolie, it's the same drop-dead-gorgeous Collin Farell (why he had to make his color to blond, anyway).

Alexander indeed fulfill his wish, died young in popularity. His name indeed so great, so we named him Alexander the Great, anyway. He refused to be live longer but as ordinary person. He is a man with big dream. You know, when a man has a great and big dream, he has to live with people who can keep up with him. Otherwise, the man has to die, die as die-rest-in-peace-thing, or die as burried-your-dream-to-the-depest-level-thing! When his people can't understand his dream, then his people will goint to die.

Gee, what happened of Alexander didn't die at 33 years old?

Presentation

2004-12-11T10:50:00.000+07:00

At Friday, one of my class had to present their final paper. It's a group assignment. Since there are 83 students, I have to split presentation time into two parts. Yesterday was the last part. It's so tireing. I don't know why. But I'm happy to see their spirit to do this paper. You know, as a student who study Geology, it's not easy to understand law, regulation, urban and regional planning, and economics, right? It was my first time to give this kind of task to them (last year, I hadn't enough time to make it happen). So here they are, in some of their appearances.

What/ Who is you Biggest Inspiration?

2004-12-11T10:41:00.000+07:00

Who is your biggest inspiration?

Some people said that it depends, but I'm sure most of us will say that our lover or our family is our biggest inspiration, right?

When your biggest inspiration has to go away, or for some reasons can't be together with you, it's just so misserable. So do I.

My friend told me how she felt about his boyfriend who have to go away for sometimes:
People thought that I feel lonely, that's it. Just lonely. Everybody are so busy to get somebody to accompany me, to ask me to go out etc. Gosh, it's not only lonely as don't-have-a-friend-to-talk-to. No. It's more than that. It is easy to get a friend to talk to or to hang out with. Although most of my friends are living outside my city, and those who left in the city are married, I still able to find somebody to go out with. Well, with those married couple, I can go with them during the day, and there are some other friends whom I can meet during the night. Another option, I can always talk to my family, I know they always be there for me. To talk more serious matter related with what I'm doing, there are some colleagues to talk to. You see, there are people. However, loosing him means more than just being lonely, more than just loosing one friend, more than that. He is my inspiration. Being with him, my creativity, my ideas flow like a river. So smooth. I have abundant energy to do a lot of things, to try to fulfill my dreams. He said the same thing about me, that he got so inspired because of me, he can do his job more clearly and more energic. You see. People say that an artist can paint a great picture, can make a superb song if they have particular situation, they have "the mood". The same with me. I need that "mood" to do so many things, and I found my "mood" in him. Now, don't go to far as to work for new things, even to do my routine it's just too hard. My brain stuck. Can't do anything, you know.

I don't have any idea what is the meaning of your spouse/ partner/ family for you. I do know that I miss somebody. If you happen to live with your partner that you love so much, and that partner is your biggest inspiration, bless you! Don't forget to tell them how you feel, OK.

Waiting

2004-12-07T17:55:00.000+07:00

Who love to wait? I dare to say most people hate to wait for anything. Even 5 minutes of waiting is just so misserable. So, how long you can stand stay calm waiting for someone? 10 minutes, 1 hours, 1 day? Can you imagine of waiting for your lover to turn to you and live his wife for almost 20 years? That happened in this book: Waiting by Ha Jin. A man called Lin, promised to leave his wife: Shuyu to be with his girlfriend: Manna.

It struck me, that sometime I too fond of waiting. Honestly, not like most people, I don't really mind to wait. It's not that I wont get angry, but usually I will stay calm, and reading a book or just let my imagination creates something while I'm waiting. Weird ha? Maybe because I have to wait for so many things in my life. Wait for attention of my parents who have to look after for 4 my sibblings, or just a simple thing such as wait in a queue at cinema. I don't know why, that task always end up at me!

It's bad, I think, getting used of waiting! I'd waiting for nothing for so many years. I thought it was for the love of my life. It was ended several months ago. Just like the book says, maybe I waited so many years just for the sake of waiting. Gosh, it's so silly. I'm happy that I'm not in waiting mode anymore, not that I regret even one second of the moment I spent with Made!

This man in this book: Lin, reminds me of another man I love so much. Don't know why. It's only that one sentence, when Lin said, will you help me?' to Shuyu, his ex-wife. I saw Lin as a weak man and fragile man. So hopeless and didn't have courage and passion. That phrase reminds me of one scene in mid July. He was so fragile at that time, I only able to hug him, hope the best for me. I, like Shuyu, also return his question with the same sentence,"All right, I'll help you, I promise. Don't be so upset." I hope that I will never regret that I had promise him to help him. I hope that he know that I am sincere to help him. No matter what. *btw, he's not as fragile as Lin but there are some other things remind me of him*

Anyway, I am into another waiting at this moment...waiting for Christmas Day. Hope to be a nice one!

It's raining over here

2004-12-07T17:52:00.000+07:00

When I was a little kid, I love rain. I used to go out, and played in the middle of the rain. I didn't care about my parents, who, for sure, will angry with me. I'm not affraid of raining, in fact I love it. I didn't care of became wet, because that's what I want. Getting wet.

In my junior high school, I used to buy ice cream when raining! It's cold, I know, I know, but I love the ice cream, and I thought it was a great thing to do, eat ice cream in cold and raining weather. Weird ha?

In my senior high school, I remember that the rain used to came several times before the class started. So, I prefer to come too early but dry. Otherwise I would end up like some of my friends who were so wet and they're in the class and they have to take off their socks, which were so sucks, it smells so bad, and looks ugly. Maybe, that's why I remember that moment up to now.

Once in my so called university time, I remember walking together with a man I adore under a small umbrella. Gosh, it was so romantic. It is true if someone says that rain is romantic.

In Rotterdam, as most of you know, rain is just a usual thing. You get used to rainy days, until it didn't bother you at all. You still walking, cycling, or even running, right? Umbrella is just out of question. How you can expect that tiny-fragile-umbrela protect you from that-rain-not-so-big but with wind like hell? Goodbye umbrella, and I just rely on my raincoat. That's all.

Months ago, I had an awful experience of rain in Jakarta. It was so horrible. Because of the rain, traffic jam happened almost all over the city. Some people arrived at their home at 3 a.m. (IN THE MORNING), you should keep in mind that their working hours finished around 5 p.m. Thanks God, I able to reach home at 9 p.m. I was waiting till the rain stop in the office with most of my colleagues. To be honest, the rain was not that big, but there were flood everywhere. Even worse, one of my colleague from previous project died due to this accident. He wasn't able to get a dinner, so he was sick after that and never recover.

Well, after those hot-sunny-days, I'm happy that Bandung is raining again. I felt so nice. It's quite cold, and feel so quite and charm for me. I love staying in my room while raining. Raining also makes me remember Rotterdam again. Gosh, love the rain!

Past, Present and Future

2004-11-29T18:29:00.000+07:00

Today, I remember one article I received from Friendster. It goes like this...

10 Years Ago, I...
-- was a fresh student at one of (they said) the best university in my country. Well, I'm not sure about "the best" but yeah, I found the best friends there. I was in new point in my life, new way of life, new friends, new everything.

5 Years Ago, I...
-- was just finished my undergraduate program, and worked as assistant researcher. Got my first payment check and spent it so easily with some friends.

3 Years Ago, I...
-- finished my master at Rotterdam. I was so sad to leave Rotterdam, and come back to my Indonesian way of life, come back to stay again with my parents and started to look for a new job

A Year Ago, I...
-- I started to work in many ways. I started to work in Jakarta and Bandung at the same time, and became a good driver, knew really well Bandung-Jakarta route

This Year, I...
-- have to say goodbye for two man that I love so much. One is the man with whom I spent so many years together. The other one is a man I just knew, and in such short time, we spent so many great times together, teached me many things, and he filled my heart with love and joy

Yesterday, I....
-- found out that my family loves me, that I able to speak up my mind and I learned we, in the family, have to understand each other more

Today, I ....
-- wake up so fresh, without tears in my eyes

Tomorrow I will...
-- work and work and work

Next month I will....
-- celebrate Chrismas and New Year with such a great new perspective

Next year I will....
-- fulfill my dreams, help people I loved to fulfil their dreams too, and hopefully, other door will open for me

Gosh, time flies and things change...sometimes so slow, sometimes too fast. I do hope that I will able to catch everything up. But, we shouldn't affraid of changes, right. Anyway, look at this picture. I don't think I changed too much *physical, please* from almost 20 years ago, right?

Happy Birthday, Jolita...

2004-11-29T17:54:00.000+07:00

Today is one of my very dear friend's birthday. Jolita Piliutyte.

Believe me, it takes sometimes to be able to write down her full name.

Don't know how and why, we just hit it since the first time I met her. She is my first "foreign" friend at Weenapad, in fact she is my first roomate ever! I knew her just like several hours after I put my feet at Rotterdam. We decided to walk around central (of Rotterdam). We got along so well. She is like a older sister I never have.

She is so neat, so clean, so in order. She is vegetarian. She is clever but also crazy! You should see her room. For me, it seems like a hotel room, you know. Off course we couldn't share our meals too much, but we manage to share almost everything else. Classmates gossips, boyfriend's story, and just everything related to life itself. We have different belief, but somehow it doesn't matter at all. I know I can always trust her, she is so straightforward but also kind.

We had our "tea-time", we invited some friends to come along to our unit and spent nice afternoon, chit chat, eat some nice cakes, and great teas. She had quite terrific collection of tea. We also share our TV together, sometimes we invited some friends to watch a program. I think we're the first unit who share the rent of TV together. It was a great way to make sure that we sit more at our kitchen and not at our own room.

We went to different course, so, sad to say, but I have to say goodbye quite fast. She had to go to Lund. But, hey, it was great because I could visited Sweden, spent sometimes at her place.
Time flies. Really. We only share apartement unit for 6 months, before finally meet each other at graduation day. But, gosh, it was something.

She is taking her PhD, teaching and still working as civil servant, right?

So, go girl, you are my very best friend!

Happy Birthday... Many Happy Returns

Family Meeting

2004-11-29T10:03:00.000+07:00

Sunday morning, at 5.am (repeat FIVE in the MORNING), my mother wake us up! Gosh, it's terrible. Extremelly terrible. None of us could argue about it. She demanded a family meeting. So, all of us had to awake, and stay awake for sometimes.

It's family meeting. We used to do this about once in a month or two months. It's been sometimes we don't do that. I know, for sure, the "guest star" of that meeting was mine! What else? It will be a talk and talk about he, the one I love so much but I had to say good bye to!

Got quite nervous, it felt like a trial in the court. But, hey, it turn out to be a great time. We shared everything. I speak about how I felt and also my father. You know, we're quite close, me and my father, maybe sometimes looks like a lover. Hey, don't get it wrong, we're not, and it's digusting to think it. Anyway, I tried to give brief picture of my relationship with my father. We are really close, even my mom get jealous of our relationship. It is good, but it is also bad when it comes to the time where we have to share our love with other, outside the family.

Well, I still have to be just "friend" with him, but I'm happy that we could talk. Hopefully, things will get better, there'll be a way out. I love family and I'm happy for our relationship.

Thank You Lord! For your blessings

Friends Forever

2004-11-26T19:46:00.000+07:00

My friends said that she's boring with everything, with her work especially, and she's not sure why. Well, I must admit, I got bored so many times, and most of those times, I wasn't sure why I got so bored.

It's very annoying. You feel bad mood all the time, since you wake up!

So, instead of asking why I feel so bad, why I got so bored, I decided to think what can I do to cheer myself up. Today, after several days hiding in my cozy room, crying and asking why these things keep happening to me, I decided to me a friend of mine. One of my dearest friend. We decided to go shopping! Yeah! It felt so good, really.

One thing for sure, my friends always able to cheer me up. Meet them is like the best medicine in the world. I know, my problems are there, or even I got bored the moment I say goodbye to my friends. But I don't care, I've got what I need, a moment to cheer, a moment to refresh, a moment that reminds me how lucky I am to have those kind of friends.

Alexander's Birthday

2004-11-26T19:01:00.000+07:00

Received a nice email from Dessy. Waw, she sent some pictures of her and her lovely Alex. Gosh, it’s so great. If he was born 10 months after Desi left Rotterdam, it means Alex is 3 years old! Congratulation Dessy. Happy Birthday for Alex. He just a handsome boy, right. As stylish as her mother.

I don’t know for others, but I like to receive pictures of my friends and their family. You will remember them in the old-goodie-days, when we’re younger. Kwekekekek. For me, I rememberr the first time I saw her, I remember her passion for pink and after that a bright colour. I remember her smile *in fact one of the thing I remember most about her is her smile*, I remember how she danced and off course, can’t forget that Christmas Dinner at her place which was fabulous!

I’m happy for her. I know most of my friends have their daily life. It might be quite similar with the one at Rotterdam, but surely, most of us living quite different life. C’est la vie, right?

Take It To The Limit

2004-11-24T18:46:00.000+07:00

Dunno, I have this one stuck in my mind...

All alone at the end of the of the evening and the bright lights have faded to blue. I was thinking 'bout a (wo)man who might have loved me and I never knew. You know I've always been a dreamer (spent my life running 'round) and it's so hard to change (can't seem to settle down). But the dreams I've seen lately. Keep on turning out and burning out and turning out the same. So put me on a highway and show me a sign and take it to the limit one more time.You can spend all your time making money. You can spend all your love making time. If it all fell to pieces tomorrow. Would you still be mine? And when you're looking for your freedom (nobody seems to care) and you can't find the door(can't find it anywhere). When there's nothing to believe in. Still you're coming back, you're running back. You're coming back for more. So put me on a highway and show me a sign and take it to the limit one more time.

Dopping

2004-11-23T16:37:00.000+07:00

I need a good dopping.

I feel so lazy, I don't have energy to do anything. I didn't clean my house, I didn't buy groceries, I didin't cook (sorry for my brothers and sister), I just want to stay at my room, doing nothing. The weather is cold, cloudy and a bit raining. Just like Rotterdam I know :)

Hot chocolate, usually, is the best dopping. But not today. I want a nice hug from my best friend.

Excuse Me...

2004-11-23T16:33:00.000+07:00

Bored.....

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things define what's within
I've been there before but that life's a bore so full of the superficial
Some people want it all but I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything but everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people search for a fountain promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses and that's the only way to prove you love them
And in a world on a silver platter and wondering what it means
No one to share, no one who truly cares for me
Some people want it all but I don't want nothing at allIf I ain't got you baby
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing if I ain't got you with me baby

I took it from http://www.lyrics007.com/Alicia%20Keys%20Lyrics/If%20I%20Ain't%20Got%20You%20Lyrics.html

Good Day

2004-11-23T16:28:00.000+07:00

In Indonesia, “hari baik”, translated as good day is quite an issue. Especially if you’re getting married, opening new business or things like that. I know, for some people it’s just not make sense, but that’s how it goes!

So, I was chatting with a friend who own a bookstore. I know that they’re going to move to another place soon. I asked him when, and he said it depends on “hari baik”.

Well, don’t get too cynical, yet. Maybe most of us, also looking for “hari baik”. If we want to have a party, we will try to avoid exam days, if we plan to have a picnic, we will carefully listen to weather report. That sort of things, right.

“Hari baik” is fine. In fact every day is a good day. A good day is a day when we are able to do something as good as possible, and hope that the result will be as good as possible too, because we prepare it as good as possible. There’s no magic or trick on it.

For me, today is a good day, when I able to wake up and say Thank You Lord, for all Your blessings

Lembang-North Bandung

2004-11-23T16:03:00.000+07:00

I used to love go to North Bandung. It's hilly, it's cold, it's tea plantation area, it's just great. Ask two of my friends, Mansi and Bram. About Bandung she said: Btw, when i think back of Bandung, it’s not the factory outlets which come to my mind (this is with reference to one of your blog articles on bookshops) but it’s the green trees and the time spent with you in Kartika Sari, the food and your house! ;-) Just to set the record straight!!!!

And I know she is going to say something nice about this place. Lembang. She and Bram spent a night at Ciater Hot Spring. But last weekend, I decided to go to Pondok Strawberry, a place where you can get everything about strawberry. Fruits, drinks, craft, anything, you name it. Unfortunatelly, it was full of people. I hate it. I know this place for its quit-cozy-place to sit, not that crowded.

So, I and Abang decided to go more to the North. We went to Cihideung. We went through an alternative road, that none of us used to. Well, the place just changed! It used to be so green, quiet, cold and refresh. But, we found it on contrary. A lot of open space, I think it will be a new real-estate area. Gosh! I hate it. North Bandung Area is known as water catchment area for Bandung City. It's an area that should stay green not full of a bunch of big houses!

Good that I found nice flower shop during our trip. It's nice. I wish I can buy some, but we decided not, since we're so hungry :) We went to a place to eat great fried chicken, but, please, it's not that fast-food fried chicken. This is a traditional one, with very hot sambal (hey, you still remember sambal, righ, it's that hot sauce).

I love our trip! It's been a while for me, to visit Lembang. Glad that we finaly made it.

Afterhours

2004-11-23T14:53:00.000+07:00

What are you doing after working the whole day? Are you going straight to your home? Or you going for a nice afternoon chit chat with some friends? Or maybe, going to supermarket for groceries, gosh!

For me, I love to hang out with some old friends. Going somewhere nice and cozy, have a nice chit chat about some colleagues at work or about boyfriends or other things. Unfortunatelly, most of my friends are in Jakarta and those who left in Bandung are married. So, it’s not that easy to meet a friend late in the afternoon for after-working-chit-chat.

After sometimes, I found one interesting thing to spend after spend a long-hard-time at work, listening to one radio program called Drive and Jive. The broadcaster, Chandra and Manik are just so funny and great. I can listen to them all afternoon. I used to request song, inform traffic situation or just anything I want to tell them.

It’s just amazing, how, sometimes, they seem to know what I have in mind. When I want to listen to one particular song, they play it. When I think about something, they talked about it. Amazing. I love them I love the Drive and Jive, it helps me to forget about things that worried me so much, about things that I hate, about things that I don’t like. I just like to hear them every afternoon from 1600 to 2000 on 87.70 FM

We're just friends...really!

2004-11-22T13:39:00.000+07:00

Have you ever heard these sentences

"we're not couple, we're friends"

"She/ he is not my other lover, we're just so "click" together, and we're just great friends"

"It's just our works that put us together, not more than just good work-friendship"

And so on, and so on.

What is it that make a relationship is a pure relationship or 'love' relationship? Is it the "love" word, the hug, the kiss, or the coitus? Or those things may happen though you're not in serious relationship with that somebody? Is it depends on the feeling? Whether I love him or not? Is it the "love" feeling that make a relationship is just a friendship or not? But, then, we may in love so much with someone but not in a relationship with that someone, right?

Abang, we're great friends, right?

Break Up

2004-11-22T08:44:00.000+07:00

What is Break Up?
Waw, I just realized that it’s a different way of seeing the word Broke Up in English and in Indonesian! Making it a bit difficult to translate this part into English Version.

Based on Compact Oxfford English Dictionary, break means (1) separate into pieces as a result of a blow, shock or strain and (2) make or become inoperative; stop working. I took only one definition, since there are 15 others definitions!

What happen if a relationship “break up”. It must’ve been happened because of a blow, shock or strain and for sure, the relationship “stop working”.

I imagined, if it’s a glass, for example, it may break because of you throw it, you smash it with something, or because of low quality of the glass, it’s just break. So, if it’s a relationship, maybe you throw your relationship so hard, or there’s something that smash your relationship or it’s just poor quality.

What’s the reason you break up? Is it because of the two of you or because of something else, not from the two of you, break the relationship up?

Whatever it is, bloody hell, it’s so hurt!

*Abang, you know exactly how I feel, thank you for everything, for those moments, those time, the love for us!*

Ultimus- The Book Shop

2004-11-19T22:17:00.000+07:00

Another destination of our (me and Lusi) trip is Ultimus.

I wanted to take Lusi since sometimes ago, but there were no time for us to go. So, today, I'm so glad that we've made it.

Ultimus is what we called as "alternative" book shop. It's not a big fancy bookstore like Donner in Rotterdam, for example. We have Gramedia that look like that. It's a small bookshop, with books a bit different that big bookstore sell. Maybe that's the word "alternative" came out! There are book about socialist, marxist, anti globalisation propaganda, etc. Kind of books that were not allowed in Indonesia, before 1997! You know, communist and anything sound "left" are banned.

Ultimus is one of some alternative book shops that look like a new trend in Bandung. Bandung has several book shops such as Tobucil (comes from Small Book Store), Rumah Malka, Wabule, etc. It' just great for me. Maybe, just maybe, people will not come to Bandung only for shopping clothes at its factory outlet (you know about that, they sell branded clothes with such a low price because it supposed to go for export but it didn't pass quality control, or so that they said!), or its food stall (which are HEAVEN!), but, maybe, they will come for its book store.

I decided to bu two books. One called In The Name of Identity and the other one is Lifestyle Ecstasy. Well, I must admit, I'm so into that lifestyle things these days, and I'm so glad I found one book (finally) that talked about it in Indonesia. Great. Just great, can't wait to read it through. I had to control myself so I wont buy too much books.

But, then, it's book. Isn't it like "an invest"?

Coffee Aroma

2004-11-19T22:00:00.000+07:00

Great, spent a half day with Lusi. Been waiting for so long.

We decided to go for a quick lunch at LoMie Imam Bonjol. It's noddle with meatball, my favourite. From that point we decided to go to Coffee Aroma! Hurrah

Coffee Aroma is a well known coffee. This, thanks to the owner. Stick to the old rules of coffee production. Well, this a family bussiness that has been running since 1930!

If you happened in Bandung and really wanted to get a sense of the goodie-but-oldie colonial times - those times when the Dutch playing master in a country 100 times bigger then own - it's so easy. Just stroll around at the Jl. Braga. You'll see signs such ‘het snoephuis’, (place for eating sweets). There, you can eat ‘bitterballen’ (typical Dutch snack, yes it's all Dutch words...you'all remember it, right) at Braga Permai. Here, you will see buildings which reminds you of a time with great ‘grandeur’. The Savoy Homan Hotel. The Landmark building or the Asia-Afrika Building, a former lively Dutch social center. Or see the big villa’s at broad lanes like Jl Cihampelas.

One said for the best thrill, the feeling of Bandung before the second World War, you can get at a coffee-factory annex coffeeshop named ‘Aroma Bandung’. Located in the middle of the town, close to Museum Merdeka. The building, the grindling and roasting machines, all the equipment is dating way back from 1932. And, believe me, nothing has been changed. Nothing. Even the scales (Berkel) are dating from this time, and all of the equipment are still functioning!

The smell. Oh, you should smell the smell. Well, just say ‘aroma’, is wherever you walk in the factory and it is a lovely smell.

We're so lucky that Oom Widya, the owner, had spare time. He took us to the factory. Told us all the story about Coffee Aroma and the secret of this family-run company (it's not that secret when you say it outloud, no?). They claimed that they only produce their world-class product with techniques that has been used in former times and no concessions are done to this. The coffeebeans for instance, are kept in the house for 5 - till 7 years to mature an optimal product. Can you imagine that? He told us, he wont do the big corporate way. Take the coffebeans and right away produce it and sell it, off course. So, it is safe for me and Lusi, who has trouble with our stomach if we took the wrong coffee. That's a promise from Oom Widya!

And you know what? You can get the fresh grinded-roasted coffee for a price which is even cheaper than those in the supermarket. Together with your sack of coffee comes a lot of advices from the owner, the most important one is also printed on every sack: ‘Wilt u heerlijke Koffie drinken? Aroma en smaak blijven goed, indien U de Koffie van de zak direct in een gesloten stopfles of blik overplaatst’. (Aroma and taste are well kept by storing the coffee in a jar of a can). Ok, friends, maybe some of you still remember those Dutch words.

Btw, I took some of the information from an article from Peter M and most of them came from Oom Widya, the owner of Coffee Aroma.

Shut!

2004-11-19T21:58:00.000+07:00

What the f**** with this blogger. It's so anoying. Error loggin etc etc. Shut! What happened?
Anyway, finally made it! Still not sure it'll last, but cross-finger blogger will find out why!

Bastard

2004-11-18T21:24:00.000+07:00

‘Man! They’re all bastard! You just can’t trust them. At all.”

Ah, here we go again and again. I knew it! It’s just so her, the-best-mate-ever. I knew instantly the moment she ring me, that she will go this all-man-bastard story again. I get used to it, and better keep her mouth shut, I perfectly know that there will be times when she fall in love and all she’s going to say is that,’all man are crap except this guy, this love of my life, the one.’

Gosh! Has she ever learn?

So, I decided to stay as sweet as possible, put everything fragile far away from her, otherwise, when her hands start moving together with the story, it’s just a matter of time for those things to fall apart from the table.

‘Oh, dear, please help me, my friend. I really don’t know what to do. I really love him, you know that.’

Bloody love. People keep using that L word as an excuse for unthinkable, unforgiveable actions that lover do. Mind you, that’s my opinion.

‘You know, I’m so positive that he’s cheating on me,’she’s taking a zip from my hot chocolate mint. Oh no, she can’t do that anymore,’Okay, he’s cheating but don’t take my drink just like that.’

‘C’mon, it’s only a drink, and I’m in my lowest mood, so, don’t get so mad, girl.’

I took the glass, take a zip, and waiting for her story.

‘Do you remember my story when he was so late to pick me up? I texted you, right? I was so upset, he cancelled me at very last minute for this stupid meeting somewhere, and saying that there’s just nobody in his department so his boss asked him to go? You remember that I tried to go to his place and not waiting for him at our usual place, I texted you asking where is that street, and you even bother to ask another friend of you to give me direction to that street. Remember it? I was there, but I couldn’t find that office he told me, I was waiting and waiting. I was trying to call him, several times, he never answered it. He didn’t answered my text too. I offered to pick him up at that place, but he just didn’t give any respon. At the end, he called me and asked me to meet somewhere else, quite far from the place where he told me he had meeting. He said that he had taken a public transportation without bother to look at his mobile. Can you imagine that? Whatever, I did agree to meet at that place. However, up to now, I still believe my instint that he saw that woman-who-were-the-wife-to-be. You remember it, right?’

‘Sure, I remember it, so what’s the news?’can’t stand any longer of her old-back-then-memories to come up, gosh, if I really have to listen to all those stories, we’ll end up just reviewing her life these past several months. Geee, no way!

‘Yeah, I know, you always remember. However, I decided to believe in his story. I have to. That’s what a relationship is, isn’t it? You just have to trust your partner. You can’t be with them like 24-7. But still, deep down, I feel something just wrong,’sudenly she turned her eyes from me to something at the back of my head, I turn my head to my 6 o’clock, and, haaa, I saw a gorgeous man standing, gosh, she just can’t control her eyes (or should I say her libido?), even she complains that all man are bastard, you should’ve known her better, she just can keep her eyes off.

‘Hey, look at me, girl, come back, you want to tell me the news, right,’I asked her.

‘Sorry, but that guy, mmmhhh, so, waw. Ok, back to the business, but, wait,’she stopped (again) from telling me the story and trying to get one crew,’I want to order one plate of french fries, warm, not to dry, please.’

I put my hey-please-concentrate-and-get-back-to-me look. She saw it, and say,’Don’t put that look, I’m so hungry, I haven’t eat all day. About him again, yesterday, I think, he met another woman, ‘that’ woman, if you know what I mean.’

‘Maybe it’s just another paranoid thing you have!’

‘No, it’s not. You know pretty well, he never pick up my phone if he’s with her. But that’s the past. So yesterday, I called her, like thousand of times, but he never take it. Well, he did take it, once, he told me that he was with his old friends. But my heart just didn’t buy it, you know. After that, I kept calling and calling, till I got fed up. Three hours later, he called me, he told me that he was having dinner at one place, that I know quite well, really close with ‘that’ woman. Gosh, I was falling apart. We decided to meet, he came with such an awful face, with that messy hair, etc etc. I was waiting for him, waiting his explanation of his weird behaviour, but he didn’t say anyhting. Couldn’t stand any longer, I asked him, where have you been, and, he came with 1001 excuses, a not-so-good story, and, more important he admitted that he met that woman with bla bla bla reasons, I don’t want to remember it. Bloody him, I deserved an honest explanation, right,’she stopped, looking at her mobile, click click click, she texted someone, or someone texted her? Whatever.

‘So, you asked him again?’I wonder.

‘Yes, but at the end with these 1001 reasons, again I decided to trust him. What should I do, anyway? I don’t want to go to that woman to ask what happened between them. No way. My heart still can’t believe his story. I feel so sad, why didn’t he tell me earlier. I got so upset.’

Hmm, but her tone didn’t sound upset at all. I felt her mood had changed. She didn’t seem interesting to really discuss about that matter anymore. It’s just not her way of telling her problems. So I asked,’What are going to do, if you decided to trust him, so trust him, don’t ask any question, don’t think of anything negatives about it, or you can always break him up. You know, that!’

‘Didn’t I tell you,’

‘Tell me what?’

‘I just texted him, said that it’s over. You know what, I think that guy behind you is really worth taking! I’m so into him, he looks nice. So, excuse me, please, I want to take a good look, maybe say a word or two. I’ll be right back and don’t eat my fries. I’m still hungry,’and as she spoke, she moved to that gorgeous guy.

HAAAAAAAA, whhaat? That easy? Gosh, she is crazy. First, she told me that all men are bastard, but huh, doesn’t she (although she’s not man). Whatever. I have my own quite time for sometimes, with my hot chocolate mint.

Want to make me?

2004-11-17T11:29:00.000+07:00

A bit bored. Surfing around, and, hey, though I'm not fans of coctail, this one quite interesting. Do you wanna know how to make a mellyana frederika? Here they are

How to make
a mellyana frederika

Ingredients:
5 parts mercy
3 parts courage
1 part beauty

Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Top it off with a sprinkle of sadness and enjoy!

Funny. I took this ingridient from here.
This is what to do if your on holiday and most of your friends and you just missing somebody so much!

Messages

2004-11-16T23:10:00.000+07:00

She surprised, she got an unexpected text on her mobile...

I cry for a help. Put him away from me, for your own sake, I don't want to be in the middle of you two. I hope you two will be happy. Help me...

Confused. Not sure what to do. She decided to reply with light message with confidence and love, tried to convinced the sender that she doesn't have any intention nor negative thoughts nor anything else to broke a friendship. She received another text regarding her reply earlier

Friendship? What friendship? We're more than a FRIEND. I'm sorry. I've disturb your relationship. I don't have boyfriend, it's only HIM and always.

What? She shocket. Is HIM is he-who-always-with-her for sometimes? What happened? What is this? Is it a way to get something that has lost? Is it another way to try to grab something that already in somewhere else?

The sender kept texted her...

Sorry for disturb your relationship
I've tried for you two happines
I've tried to let both of you happy, but it's just too hard. Sorry

Hmm. She is definetely getting confused? Is it a "sorry" sorry or an act to push her to do something she doesn't want to do? What's goin on? Oh, where is he-the-one-who-always-with-her? Please help me. Oh, where are you the-one-who-always-with-her, you who used to smile and started to give comments for 1001 things he sees. Oh, where is he-the-one-who-always-with-her?

There he come...

"Look, a strange text."
"Where?"
"This..."

She is so happy, finally, he-the-one-who-always-with-her came, looking at her mobile and...

"girl..girl...it's a wrong number, it's unknown, you should've check it carefully first."

*WHA WHAAAAT*

She shocked, grabbed her mobile, take a good look at the number, gosh, it's so similar with the-one-that-she-thought-sent-the-message number. She smile, she got so embarassed, she said,"sorry, my mistake."

She love him. Love him-the-one-who-always-with-her. Really

Making real sense of the senses

2004-11-16T23:05:00.000+07:00

Accidentally, I read this great poem made by 5 years old boy...

Our eyes are looking for at things,
But they are also for crying
When we are very happy or very sad
Our ears are for listening
But so are our hearts
Our noses are for smelling food
But also the wind and the grass and
If we try very hard, butterflies
Our hands are for feeling
But also for hugging and touching so gently
Our mouths and tounges are for tasting
But also for saying words, like
'I love you,' and
'Thank you, God, for all these things'

I read it from Heartsongs by Mattie J.T. Stepanek, Thorsons, 2002. It reminds me to give thanks to HIM who gave my this life. Thank you, Lord. I love you, Lord

Bandung's Visitor

2004-11-16T22:36:00.000+07:00

Jakarta’s people should never come to Bandung!

They – for me - are people who:
1. Have residence permit in Jakarta
2. Born and grown up in Jakarta
3. Working full time in Jakarta, especially those who are never study in Bandung (usually they who’d study in Bandung, high school or university are great company)
4. Including those who claim to be Bandung’s people but spend more time in their life in Jakarta than Bandung!

Well, maybe, somehow, someday I’ll be one of those

But, in the mean time, I got so upset. Just passed Dago area, and as usual, from North to South of Dago, at weekend or holiday, it’s just so crowded. It is something that just happen regularly, I know, I know. Every week, I have to see Bandung so crowded! However, since my mood was a bit low this afternoon, I got so upset with those car with car plate “B”.

I know that not all of those plate “B” cars are owned by Jakarta’s people, but, there are some signs:
1. Act as if they are the most “skilled” driver, therefore, no matter what, they will try to get an empty space as fast as possible and as much as possible, with any kind of driving way that possible. Hey, don't get mad at me. I've been there. I’ve been living in Jakarta once in a while, some months in a year. My brother told me he getting better in taking somebody’s line in the street because of he used to drive in Jakarta (Otherwise, you wont be able to drive in Jakarta, and you’ll live miserable). So, just take a good look at the way a driver act.
2. Egoistic way of driving. I just passed area of Dago Golf, nearby those “great-famous-cozy” cafes. You know, the road is so narrow, and getting narrower because of on-street parking. In the last two years, it’s traffic jam every weekend especially at lunch and dinner time! Today, is just like another weekend’s day (although it’s not weekend but holiday time – because of Aidil Fitri). Driver should be more patient to wait another car to pass, it’s a narrow turn, not mention that the road was all the way up to the hill. But, instead of waiting, usually they want to be the one who move first, and sometimes, they just pass some car, and…voila…they’ll meet another car and no one can get anywhere. Thank you very much you-egoistic-driver!
3. They thing that the road is a racing track or something. So, if you try to give a sign that you want to turn left/ right or just to go to a bigger road, they will move their car faster, so you wont able to go to the road! Gosh

Even at my favourite spotes, I can take a quick guess, whose Bandung’ers and whose aren’t! Look at their attitude, that’s all. I’m so sick of them.

I hate that my city getting crowded. Maybe, just like my discussion with Paulo Russo, my ex supervisor who happen to be one of Venesian, maybe we have to take a charge for people who want to go inside a city for the city benefit.

To whom a city is for? Only for its resident? How public is a city as a public place? For sure, it ain’t a cinema where you can ask them to buy ticket and put a limited seat according to its size.

Well, I will try to close my eyes, and let them enjoy my beautiful city, maybe for its food, shops, or even its beautiful woman. Bandung want to be a touristic city, and takes money from it!

What a good laugh!

2004-11-16T13:55:00.000+07:00

What a good laugh!

Calvin and Hobbes surely one of my favourite. It cheers me up, especially today. One of my 7 dogs bited me yesterday. So, I'm happy to see this from one of my favourite place.

BTW, how are you big guy? Yes, you, the only who always right :)

What should I do?

2004-11-15T16:14:00.000+07:00

Should I stop here, right now?
or
Should I keep asking until it given to me, seek until I found it and knock until it opened for me?

Happy Aidil Fitri

2004-11-15T12:08:00.001+07:00

One day before Aidil Fitri, I went to a traditional market called Ujung Berung to take Ema and Ita who want to go for a fruit shopping. Gosh, the place was in incredible chaos. It was full of everything that you can imagine. It seemed that everybody tried to do their last-aidil-fitri-shopping, just like some of us last-minute-christmas-present shopping, right?

he traffic was bloody-awful. I didn't think the police help much. Not at all. I think they're just trying not to make it worse. That's all. Can you imagine, within that not-so-big-street there were cars, trucs, motorcycles, people, and off course street vendors!

I'm sorry for you who ride a motorcycle, but I hate you so much. The motorcyclists were too many and too-much-eager to get any empty space they saw! It didn't take more than 5 minutes, the empty street getting crowded with motorcycle. I didn't even know where they come from!

Anyway, it's all show how exciting people to celebrate Aidil Fitri. I just try to enjoy this hectic moment that only appear once a year. I saw their happy faces, walking in the street with their family.

So Happy Aidil Fitri, guys!

Hurrah

2004-11-15T12:01:00.000+07:00

Great!

Last Friday I won a package from HardRock FM Bandung. Hurrah. I won sms quiz. The question was: What would you do, if it's takbiran night (Idul Fitri Evening, sort of Christmas Eve) and you only had 1 sms' voucher left in your mobile, who'd you sms? I'm so happy. I got a nice blue t-shirt.

Thank's HardRock.

Jealous

2004-11-13T21:32:00.000+07:00

Gosh, don't know why and how, but this relationship is making me into a jealous woman!

It's just not me. So not me. I'm not a jealous person, I don't get jealous easily, and if I got jealous, usually, I made it up. Maybe, it's because I used to be the first girlfriend. So, rarely I got a boyfriend with history with another woman as his girlfriend. Maybe, that's explain why I don't get jealous easily. I'm just too confidence!

Bad thing, right!

So, now, what happen with me?

One conversation topic, that used to be a nice-easy-chit-chat topic for me, broked my heart. I feel jealous! It's not like I hate him, or I hate her *you know "our topic"*, it's just that I hate to those opportunities that I haven't had! I hate to a history of them , that I'm not sure whether I will have it or not *cross finger, I will*.

Funny, ha. I am jealous to the PAST.
*or maybe it's not so funny after all, it's just being human?!*

Even worse, I'm a bit afraid to talk about it to him. I'm affraid if I tell him, he will stop talking about it (or her, to be precise) and I don't want it that way. I don't like a-cover-up thing, an artificial thing (he likes to say that word, anyway), a-well-there's-nothing-to-tell-when-in-fact-that-thing-reminds-me-of-her look!

Oh, please, not that way, don't do that!

I choose to know the story, to hear their story. It is better to know! Really.

Everybody have their own past. I have to learn to accept his past, too!

After all, it's his PAST. Period.

ps: finally I told him, he just smile and understand me... gosh I love him!

Parking Spot

2004-11-12T08:15:00.000+07:00

Last night, I went for a nice chit-chat with some friends: Iya, Remmy and Ari. In the middle of our conversation, one of Potluck's crews came to me. She said,"Mba, are you the owner of the car 119?".

I answer,"Yes, indeed, what's wrong?"

I thought I've parked my car correctly, and I didn't block anyone else's car.

She said,"Would you be so kind to remove your car, there's a car wanted to go inside."

"OK, no problem,"I walked to my car, and I saw a big car, almost similar with mine, only bigger. You know there is a big motorcycle named harley, so, this car is just another harley compare to mine.

There was a parking guy, who waiting for me, and coming toward me,"Neng, excusme, but you have to moved, I'm so sorry, really."

Hmm, strange, there's something wrong, here,"OK, Pak, it's OK, I'll move, it's fine, really."

In the beginning, he was asking me to just moved my car more to the right, but, with my (excellent, ehm) parking ability, I knew that even if I moved my car close to the car right beside me, that big car wont be able to park at my left! So,"Pak, let me just moved overthere, there's a free spot, it's not far, I'll move, OK."

He said,"OK, if that's fine with you, I am so sorry, Neng."

So, I moved, I saw the car taking over my old spot. It's only like, 10 steps further. So what's the point?

When I walked back to the place where my friends were waiting for me, that guy from the car say sorry, say I owe you, aaah, you know all those craps!

So, we talked about them. Those guys came in, and really, they're just couple of jerks! Really. I didn't mind, anyway. What so hard to move the car. I'm not in rushed. I'm not handicap, I can walk a bit further. But, I just couldn't understand those guys who insist to park at that spot. What's the problem anyway? It's just too arogant and selfish and childish, when they are really a couple of grown up people. Well, maybe grown up in term of age, in term of physical body (they have a well-shaped body, too well-shaped I think), but really a kid in their mind.

Gosh, what happened with people. Why you can just try to get another parking lot? It's not that hard. Why we have to be such a jerk?

I do like to have my favourite parking spot. I used to reserved parking lot at university, at office. I gave tip to parking guy, so he will reserved the spot, and will wash my car, off course :)

But, I will never ask a person who already park to move, just because I wanted!
I hope, I will never do that, and I hope you wont either!

How to Write Gooder

2004-11-11T22:15:00.000+07:00

A bit bored, I found this one from http://blindman.blogspot.com
I think it's genius. If you read it really carefully, maybe you'll laugh as much as I am

How to Write Gooder (see, look at the title of this rules!)
Here are several very important but often forgotten rules of English:

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is always best.
16. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be avoided.
20. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
21. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
22. Who needs rhetorical questions?

Get my point?

IQ

2004-11-11T16:07:00.000+07:00

And the result is.....

Your IQ score is 126

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician. This means you are gifted at spotting patterns — both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction — especially in the workplace. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

Yipee. Am not sure is it good or bad. But, hey I am Visual Mathematician. Kekekekek.

You're agree with me, right? ;)

Sinetron's Freak

2004-11-10T20:32:00.000+07:00

Sinetron is, in my opinion, Indonesian telenovela, Indonesian soap opera, or anything that sounds alike. So, you got the picture of sinetron, right? Imagine pretty girl, handsome man, beautiful house, luxury cars, incredible out-of-logic script, and not mention unbelievable act!

I don't watch it. It's just, well, you just have to see the first two episodes, and then you can see the last two or three, and you will know the whole story, believe me! So what's the point to see it everyday.

But this afternoon, I was shock.

We, me, my parents, my brother, my brother's girlfriend, had a dinner in front of television *what a great way to have dinner*! We saw this favourite sinetron *since it's quite funny, it's like half hour comedy situation and so down to earth* Bajaj Bajuri, when sudenly, the picture keeps changing from one channel to another!

"Eitsss, stop it, please, who have the remote control?" I shouted

"Our beloved father, you have to understand that, sist," my brother answered.

"Oh, Pi, please, stop at one channel, it's so dizzy to see one picture to another,"

"Okey, but let me see what's other channel is,"Papi answered in his calm tone!

*sigh*

Finally, Bajuri on television. Relieved. Ops, too fast, it started to change.....wait waittt...

"Piiiii, please, what is it?" I pointed out at the television that showed a scene from one sinetron showed a face of a famous actress, a beautiful one, Tamara Bleszensky or something *yes, she is half Chekoslovakia when it's still one country, I guess*.

My mom give the answer with such an understanding-what-you-so-shock-about look,"Kakak, Papi wathes this sinetron, daily, he loves it."

*GUBRAK*

Seriously? You're not kidding?
My father is a sinetron's freak?

Waw
I'm speechless

ps: Lusi will come to Bandung... have to schedule it soon, for a gossip session!

I miss you

2004-11-10T16:40:00.000+07:00

We've decided not to see each other for a while, so I can spend more times with my family. But, gosh, I miss you so much, Bang! I miss our conversation, I miss our discussion, I miss you.

In the morning, I started a lot of things to get you out of my mind. One of them is this blog. I decided to make another weblog, the english version of my indonesian version'weblog. Gosh, it took ages! From 6 in the morning until almost lunch time. Anyway it's worthed. I'm happy. Some of my friends, Sara (from Peru) and Desi (from Bolivia) already visit this blog and gave comments. Thanks girls!

I had lunch with whole family except Kris. I'm happy. My father and mother are in Bandung for a while, so we had proper lunch, with my mom cookings, watching movie: IQ (Mey Ryan plays mathematician).

Sudenly, my father said,"it's just great to see Melly and Ina have lunch together with us."
Huh?!
Are you kidding me? It's you who never at home in Bandung, Papi!!!

Anyway, it was great discussion with them all.

After that, I decided to re-read Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner. It's cloudy here in Bandung, a perfect wheather to stay at my bed, curled up, so warm with a book in my hands, reading, and my dog was sleeping beside me.

But now, it's finished, and gosh, I miss Abang... Miss you, miss you
And, hey, I check out my tagboard message, he wrote a tag for me and he made a comment about me writting about Made, my ex. Huhuy....

Have to disconnect, I wanna call him, can't wait

100 things about me

2004-11-10T10:54:00.000+07:00

100 things about meI found this project that made by okke who took it from yankee at Enda's wife weblog, it's kinda hard to find 100 things about me..... but it's interesting, and fun! so.. here they are.. (drum rolls,please) 100 things about me!

1.My full name is Mellyana Frederika,
2.People usually call me: Melly, my family call me: Kakak, some of my friends call me: mey, and my friends during my stay in the Netherlands people call me in my full name: Mellyana, I like it
3. My name came from Melly G. Tan, a sociolog, however, I also like the idea that in Chinese Mey mean beautiful girl. So I am!
4. I am Bataknese and
5. Actually my last name is Silalahi, but because of administrative thing I rarely use it, but hey although I speak like Sundanesse, and I look like Menado or Chinese, hey...I am Batak
6.I have 4 siblings
7.I am almost 29, and my siblings usually don’t realize that
8.I love the fact that my birthday is Valentine’s day, although I don’t celebrate Valentine’s all that, but the thought that it’s a LOVE day is great
9.I’m a Christian, subscriber of e-RH [owner-i-kan-akar-renungan-harian@xc.org] so I can read bible daily, unfortunatelly, often miss it
10.I went to HKPB Dago in my childhood, and to GKI MY in my teenage and baptized in GPIB Maranatha
11.I have curly hair in my childhood, and straight hair during my elementary school which was turned to be curly again since junior high school, thanks God it’s getting straighter these days
12.There were times that I hate my curly hair, but now I love it (although this time I have a straight hair)
13.I was 149 cm tall when I enter 6th grade and 159 when I left 6th grade, based on my written physical report
14.I lived in Cigadung since 1979, when there was no “normal” road
15.I spent my childhood playing kite instead of dolls
16.I got really high fever because I really wanted a small keyboard piano from Hoya, I was 4 years old, it disappeared when my parents bought it for me :)
17.I used to taste and drink ink in my 2nd grade.
18.I had a library where I rented most of my books when I was in 4th grade, and got money from it.
19.I used to have all “lima sekawan” and “tintin” and Bobo magazines from 1977!!!
20.I won number of speech competitions, one of them was number one for Jawa-Bali Provinve level
21.No wonder, I am talkative, I can talk the whole trip Bandung Jakarta pp
22.I’m not good in numbers, actually I’m allergic to numbers!
23.I memorized phone number by its shape on telephone buttons or by its sound when I pushed the number
24.I used to have temporary tatoos, and wish I will have a permanent tattoo latter on
25.I permed my hair, dyed my hair, straigthened my hair.. you name it.
26.I dyed my hair into mahogany, dark brown, highlight into purple, blueblack and now burgundy
27.I like to experiment a bit with my hair, I don’t like to cut my hair exactly the same with the previous model
28.I love swimming and running, and love to do that “cross-country” thing
29.I have good cardiovascular (is that right?), but not so good into strength. Therefore, I can swim, run, or play any kind of sport for quite long time
30.I gave up to learn tennis, I think that’s the only sport I failed to learn
31.I learn karate, and was good for kata session than kumitee
32.I love Indonesian food and Polish food, well, I love food, period
33.I’m madly in love with dogs, I have five dogs: Belo, Coco, Biang, Brownie and Marbel
34.I can’t go out before I put on my eye brow pencil.
35.I don’t wear lipstick
36.I love the smell of person after she/ he taking a bath
37.My first car was called : Kitty, it’s 1995 Suzuki Katana
38.I always love blue, although occasionally I love other colors
39.Me and my father can talk for ages with loud voices because of our excitement. So watch out if you see the two of us
40.I argue with my mum often, but when I had to stay in Rotterdam, we started to share things.
41.I hate fast food and softdrinks
42.I like to cook, it’s just so relaxing
43.I think man who cook is really really sexy.
44.I think, beside eyes, the sexiest part of a man is their hands especially: finger
45.I love Brian McKnight
46.I love Bacardi and Baileys
47.I don’t like coctail, I prefer a straight drink
48.I love dancing
49.I talk loudly
50.I am miss “ring ring”, I just love talking via phone
51.I’m clumsy, always loose parking tickets, forget to bring one or two things, loose my keys etc
52.I’m moody, and when my mood goes down, I can be spoilt, stubborn, childish and cynical at the same time….. avoid me then!
53.computer and internet are my second and third oxygen, therefore I choose to have them first in my room instead of anything else
54.I’m always curious about web making and web designing
55.I hate being left, lied and betrayed
56.I am schedulaholic, I love schedule
57.I got so mad when something ruined my schedule
58.I hate rubber-time person,
59.I’m easy to cry, everything can make me cry, everywhere
60.I love situation-commedy-half-hour-TV serries such as friends, mad about you, seinfield etc
61.I fall in love with Fred Dryer in Hunter, maybe he is my first love. HAHA
62.I love to organize things, I think I’m good at it too
63.I was a very big fans of Fariz RM in my teenage
64.I’m obsessed to be able to work with expat and get the same payment with that expat
65.I can’t save my money
66.I like to try clothings at dept store and not buy those clothes. It feels so good just to try ‘em.
67.I like a man with dark hair, exception only for Pawel68.I love maps, I used to collect a map from a place I visited
69.I love my grandmother, she is my idol of a woman
70.First country outside Indonesia that I’ve visited is Netherlands
71.I learn Dutch for 3 months, but I learn it more at open market in Blaak, Rotterdam
72.I collect thank you in several language, now I know thank you in Indonesia, Sundanese, Bataknese, Dutch, French, Roman, Spanish, Polish, Lithuanian, Russian and some other more
73.I like to make a card by my own: birthday card, Christmas card and Lebaran card
74.I remember when people underestimate me, and will try so hard to prove that they are so wrong
75.I love Rotterdam so much, and miss it here and there
76.I love books, I can’t control myself for not buy a book
77.I want to study Planology since my junior high school
78.I love going to cinema to watch movie
79.I, especially love midnight show. Being the first to watch a movie is great
80.I love driving
81.I am in love with a house at Jl. Pagergunung No. 12, I pass that house everytime I feel sad
82.I love Potluck, I think I’m Potluckholic
83.I’m good with signage in public places. I understand signage at Schipol, Amsterdam or at train station in French right away
84.Porn sites are disguisting, the real turn offs!
85.I’m good with shapes and colors
86.I’m good with direction, my mind-mapping skill is good
87.I read Detektif Conan regularly88.When I was in elementary school, I always want to be a teacher or a priest!
89.I’m not a jealous girl
90.I used to mix my friends from different groups
91.I like nice-cosy-warm hotel and luxury-glamorous-hotel too
92.I like the smell of a coffee
93.I always be favourite to language teacher
94.I love to be in choir, I wished I can join another choir
95.I like Van Gogh, especially his painting of bedroom
96.I like mie baso so much, from mie baso kampung up to mie baso restaurant
97.I’m crazy about gadget, I like high-tech things such as computer, laptop, PDA
98.I don’t like to upgrade my mobile-phone
99.The way I choose things usually is not based on its function but its shape (shame on me)
100.I love my country, no matter what, I love being Indonesian

Saturday Morning Phone Call

2004-11-10T10:50:00.000+07:00

Aku took my fixed phone, dial 085216... eh, I put the phone down. I decided to get my mobile phone, search, eM...eM...there it is, push"call". Eits, cancelled again, back to contact, found it, push “more”, and choose to “call and hide ID”

"Halo…"

"Halo…"

"Hi, how are you, why you never pick up my calls, De?"

"Haa? Who’s this?"
gubrak? Is it for real? Is he really really can’t recognize my voice, after those years?

"Melly, De.. This is Melly"

"Ohhhh"
so cold!

"De, why you never pick up my calls?"

"Haaa?"
oh My God, why you keep saying haaahh..hahhhh?

"Yup, why you never pick up my calls"

"Oh that, I was sleeping"
oh yeah? I called like hundred times, and why don’t you just put your phone to off mode?

"But I called you not only yesterday, I called you several times, and why don’t you pick up my calls?

"When? Oh, *oh yeah, you remember it* I was driving"

"whatever, what is your home number?"

"Haaa...?!"
You see…another haaa…

"can’t remember."
You must be kidding! Your own home number for God sake

"What? Can’ remember your own phone number? In Singaraja?"

"Oh, I’m in Denpasar"
dzigh! So what?

"Ah, whatever, dag!"
mode on: tired!

"OK"
Huaakwakwakwakkkk

What happened between the day I return the ring and today?

I miss Rotterdam

2004-11-10T10:36:00.000+07:00

I miss Rotterdam. Today, I miss it so much. I miss my friends during my time there. I miss those moments. When we have Christmas Dinner at Desi's, when we have surprise birthday party for Fabian, when we took our class picture, when we went to Maastricht, when we went to Bruggel, when we went to Amsterdam for koningindag, and especially for our parties at weenapad's basement.

It was friendster. I have to answer my favourite restaurant. Gosh, I remember Dudok! So much. Then, I started to remember everything and miss them so much.
It was a beautiful memory. Thank's guys!

Scheduleholic

2004-11-10T10:32:00.000+07:00

You know alcoholic, workaholic, shopaholic and other holic.
I have another one: scheduleholic.

I just love to make schedule, for absurd reason!
1. Everything has to be on my schedule. I put everything in my agenda, though, it’s not necessary mean that I will do it as my schedule!
2. I’m so into schedule so I have more than 2 agendas to put my schedule. My PDA, my computer, my mobile phone!
3. This is the worst part, if something happened, something ruined my schedule, I get so annoyed, so mad, so anger, even it’s not a significant interuption. Really bad temper!

Another holic of mine is chocolateholic! Gosh, I just lurve chocolate