A Whitney Houston Moment

I grew up with Whitney Houston. Well, that is because back in the 80’s I didn’t have much choice on music selection. At least that’s what I felt. I pretty much rely on what’s hot at current radio station. There’s only one television channel, TVRI and it’s pretty much crap especially if I listen to its Aneka Ria Safari.

Staying at home – thanks to this seems-to-be-too-regular flu – I went to my CD collections and decided to play with the time machine. I choose some old CDs. Whitney was among them.

The collection consists of various selections of Whitney Houston songs. She has fabulous track from up beat songs to the slow machine songs. I opted for some cool down, since it was lazy evening and suited my not-too-well condition.

Oh boy! How I still remember them all!!!

My track started with Saving All My Love for You. This song reminded me of Ratna, one of my best friends; just because at one time we had discussion about this particular song, on what exactly this song was about. Last night I sing along with the song just all right. If I was singing in a karaoke, I probably got at least 90 score.

I really can remember. My brain does have memory.


***
These couple of months, I used to visit some karaoke places. Most of the time, it was family get-together. We picked various songs; oldies songs up to the most recent one. I am one of the lousy ones. Really. I can keep lyrics in this very small brain of mine. It is forgivable to forget lyrics from the good old days, but I also can’t keep up with the latest songs, even if those songs consist of one sentence. Just like the song of one group called kuburan: lupa or another song by Melly that only has one sentence “I love you”. How can someone forget those kinds of lyrics?

But I do forget them

Last July, we had this surprise dinner party for our father. The siblings and me decided to sing one gospel song. This is a kind of song that you actually sing in the church on almost weekly basis. There were times when I have this song on i-pod play-list and play it on repeat mode like forever. And, still, I can’t remember the text. So, all of us need a little help from our modern life. Thanks to gadget and internet, we can have our blackberry googled up the text and yes, we sang the song with lyrics on our BB’s LCD.


***
Well, maybe that’s the thing. We got many helps these days. Lyric is a piece of cake when you have internet and google around. It takes just a couple of seconds to get the lyrics.

Fifteen to twenty years ago, it took hours to get the lyrics!

I remember sitting beside my tape recorder, try to catch words of a song. Write down the lyrics. Mind you, English is my third or even fourth language (after some traditional languages, off course). Sometimes the sentences turned out funny because I heard it wrong. Other alternative was to tune in to a radio station that broadcast song lyrics. I stay awake just to be able to write down line by line. During high school, I used to exchange lyrics with friends. Thus, I had quite a collection of lyrics. All nicely written complete with all the glitters and colorful colors.

Oh my. I can see all the books. I don’t’ know where those books are gone!

Maybe because the effort and also –perhaps- the fact that my brain is still young and fresh, I can keep the lyrics of those songs until today. The ability that surprise me. I still amaze how I can sing a long to these songs; greatest love of all, one moment in time, I have nothing, didn’t we almost have it all.

Waw. It’s good to have some memories stay.

By the way, where is Whitney Houston? Now that I am singing some of her hits, I kinda miss her. We all can sing her songs, but no one can do that as Whitney. Big song suit her big vocal. Me? I am satisfied to have my stage in my tiny apartement with no one but me to amuse.

Over The Hill is Home

Thank you Lord.
Your love is forever.

Thank you Lord.
For always trusting me.

Thank you Lord.
For abundant love you give, no matter what.

Thank you Lord.
For always be there for me.

No word able to express my gratitude. I am overwhelmed. And for this, I thank You, Lord.

Poor, Stupid and Lazy.

It was a hot day and the venue packed with people from various ages, eager to know more on how to become a potential leader. It was a free event as long as you had registered. We were asked to be enthusiast because we were a potential leader who never quit, move on, brighter future, its mine. The slogan that kept repeated throughout the day.

I would love to say that outloud just like the rest of participants, but I just couldn’t help myself to say it even with minimum voice. I did manage to replicate the hands-movement, though.

We were told about four important things a leader should have. Brain, creativity, intuition and communication ability.

See something new?
No?
Well, you’re not alone.

These four things are important. Okay, I said. But, if these four things were claimed as an answer for the price-increased of the fuel (BBM), I will say hold on.

Weeks before the new price of fuel took place, debate and demonstration were carried out. It’s the headlines for most media. Increased fuel price means more money needed to buy things, to take public transportation and downgraded the quality of life of most people. I heard that some decided to stop hiring the lovely baby sitter, some started to have home-made a.k.a bring-your-own-lunch-from-home and some replaced the old car with new-but-more-thrifty.

Those are individual decision, taken as a reaction of the fuel-increaded-price. Those individuals are able to change their lifestyle a bit, although God know that time will soon arive when they will return to the old habbit and get used with the new price tag. We have very good adaptation ability, no?

But, how about some unfortunate people who have not the luxury to change the car and already have home-made lunch when money allow? Landless labor, honorary teacher, textile worker and many more. They can not make any adjustment, and that’s not because they don’t have brain, nor creativity, nor intuition, nor communication skill but because they just can’t. The system doesn’t allow them to. It needs more than just those four things for most of them. Way more.

It showed me how strong it is, the view that people became poor because they are no-brainer, lazy and all that. No wonder, one can made up a “poor-people-way-to-spend-money” theory that is spend today what you got today. Well, Mr.Rich-with-too-much-extra-income, the poor had to spend money on the same day when they got the money because there’s no other way. Investment is alien word. They need money to eat, to survive. Sometimes, it comes daily, but most of the time, they can’t really tell when the money will come.

I have nothing againts the idea that the middle-class-society need to be more smart, creative, intuitive and communicative to be able to create new source of income, and God willing, new employment opportunity. That’s a good idea. More money for you, and more job for others.

But, please bear in mind, it need more than just that.

I remember a taxi driver comment on the project in front of ITC Ambassador (you know, that the small green area is now getting smaller as a provide wider road?). He said,”Mba, it wont solve the traffic jam in this road”. Gee! Indeed. There’s a system problem in it. A good mass-transportation system and land-use regulation are just few of some alternative answers.

It’s an old and long debate on how to alleviate poverty. Middle income society surely can do a lot of creative things. Those are welcome. Still, it is important to realize that there’s a system problem. Being individually smart, creative, intuitive and communicate are just not enough.


A longer and slightly different version can be found here or there, too lazy to do full translation.

Homesick

I saw serries of pictures of a distant friend. The scenes were all located abroad. Lost the shy and quiet person I knew. I can even give a new title as “party animal” by looking at those pictures. I saw smile, like thousands of them. Totally confident and you know what, a confident person always looks sexy for me.

I don’t know what happened, but I assumed being abroad contributes a lot. And I remember mine.

One thing I get most during my life in Rotterdam was self-confident. And, I used to consider my self as confident person. It was there that I have some attitude I never knew exist within me. I feel respected, matter and beautiful. My dark skin is lovely. My thoughts always matter. The man adores me *too much confident, i know, don't get mad at me*.

I believe that trust and respect build the confident. Not judgement from around. I feel so free. No one to tell me what to do, and no one to blame me on what I do. I just have to be responsible on my own.

Damn, it feels good.

I enjoy all the new responsibilities. A lot. I cherish every moment I spent. I used to walk very slowly to make sure all are saved in my limited-storage-capacity-brain.

I think, it's not too much when I say that I will never be the person I am now without the time I spent there.

I Try

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
-Macy Gray-


I am missing you
A friend’s question brought me to the memories of you
Places we visited
Meals we prepared
Shows we watched
Too many things we did together

Until now, we are unable to fix a date and place to meet
Work and other responsibilities are our excuses
But still, the friendship stays

Yes, fate has brought you into my life
And yet, fate has decided to keep us apart

Until the moment come, eventually.

why didn’t you call me do something
caligula i try sex-o-matic venus freak
i can’t wait to meetchu still i’ve committed murder
a moment to myself the letter